Dee did her best to ignore the sting of his use of her formal title as Robbie followed his dogs out of the garden. Their leads were looped casually around his neck, lodging between the open neck of his checked shirt and the collar of his coat. He rushed to open the back of the truck and the spaniels jumped in. Once he’d checked they were away from the doors and had closed them inside, he swung to face her. ‘I’m so sorry – did they jump at you?’
‘No, Robbie. They were, as always, impeccably behaved.’
His grin was the most honest thing Dee had seen in weeks, and he partnered it with an embarrassed rub of the side of his face. ‘I don’t know about impeccable, but thank you for saying so.’
‘I was heading out for a walk,’ Dee said, stating the obvious.
‘Very good. Were you thinking of the new plantation?’
The richness of his accent flowed from every word, and Dee felt as though she could bathe in it. Meanwhile, the misnomer of ‘the new plantation’, an area of forest at least twenty years old, made her smile.
‘Maybe the plantation, I haven’t decided.’
A crescendo of whining and scrabbling came from the back of the truck, the wire grill over the top half of the door punctuated by inquisitive noses, keen to get going.
‘I’m sorry to hold you up, Robbie. You must be very busy.’ Dee waved a hand at the truck. ‘Please. Don’t worry about me.’
‘Actually, I’m only taking the boys for a run near the waterfall,’ he said heading around the vehicle. ‘They love it out there.’
Dee hadn’t been out that far for ages. She loved the waterfall as much as she loved wandering through the trees – maybe more.
Robbie paused, as though he was taking stock of her expression. ‘Would you like a lift anywhere? I could pass the new plantation, if that suits?’
‘I don’t want to put you out.’ She shook her head. ‘You carry on.’
‘It’s no bother,’ he said.
‘Well, if you don’t mind – could I hitch a ride to the waterfall? I haven’t been there in far too long,’ she said.
In answer, he rounded the front bumper and opened the passenger door, holding it wide for her.
As he fired up the engine, Dee stole a surreptitious glance at his profile. There was something eminently calm in his demeanour, always had been.
Robbie glanced at her. ‘I should have come to pay my respects – but I wasn’t sure if it was appropriate …’ He fell into silence as he negotiated the way out of the yard, accelerating along the track. Then he said, ‘I wasn’t sure you’d appreciate it, I suppose.’
Had they left things so very badly? She wanted to ask the question, but couldn’t bring herself to do so, because she already knew the answer. She’d pushed him away with such firm finality it was surprising he was speaking to her at all.
It occurred to Dee that perhaps this entire conversation was borne out of an embarrassment on his part, a charade he was acting out purely because she’d stumbled across him going about the course of his daily routine. And she could feel the tense formality in his words, now.
Maybe this had been a mistake.
‘His Lordship always spoke very highly of you,’ she said, eventually. Falling back onto procedure, hiding behind civility, seemed easier. And Robbie nodded, relaxing a little in the familiar territory of formality.
The truck left the smoothness of the tarmac and bounced its way along the now unmade track, wheels spraying muddy water to both sides.
A beat of time, awkward with silence, passed before Dee said, ‘How is Mrs Keel? I know she pops up to the castle regularly, but I haven’t seen her for a few days. Is she well?’
‘Aye, formidably well, as always.’
Dorathy Keel’s family had lived in Kirkshield almost as long as the settlement had existed, and were as much, if not more, a part of this landscape as any member of the Barclay-Brown family.
‘I’m glad. She’s been an absolute rock, through … Well, through everything.’
‘Dee, I just want to tell you how sorry I am.’ The strength with which he hurled out the words took Dee aback; the familiarity of him using her name made her reel.
‘It’s been …’ The temptation to be honest with him was strong. The temptation to tell him she was sorry too was almost inescapable, as was the urge to ask if there was any way back to the easy friendship they’d enjoyed before. But Dee stopped herself, concentrating on taking a breath in, a breath out, before she reverted to the party line. ‘Thank you. It’s been a very difficult time.’
It occurred to Dee that the phrase she’d just rolled out was almost as insincere as the stock platitude the temporary housekeeper, Jess, had come out with. But Dee had lived within a framework of deception for such a long time that it seemed it had become a cage, and somewhere along the way she’d lost its key.
