‘No. This time the words are specific,’ Clara said. ‘I think they are particularly relevant to you.’
‘How?’ Tania said, leaning forward to gather her little pile. She set the letters out in front of her, brow furrowed. ‘What kind of a word am I looking for?’
Clara hoped this wasn’t going to fall horrendously flat. As parting gifts went, this one was obscure, to say the least. ‘They are truths about each of you. Qualities you already have, even though some of you don’t believe you do. Or something you know you need to do.’
‘That narrows it down a bit, then,’ Gull said, springing a grin in her direction.
Clara peeled the wax from the top of the bottle of génépi, then pulled the cork from the neck and poured measures into the shot glasses. She glanced across to where Tom was stacking the dishwasher. ‘Would you like one, Tom?’ she called.
He looked up, then shook his head. ‘Not for me, thanks.’
‘Clara, darling, you’re going to have to give me a clue,’ Lysander said, his tiles still a jumble.
She smiled and pulled the ‘v’ from his pile. ‘Start here,’ she said.
‘I’ve got seven letters,’ said Madeleine. ‘Rose only has six. That’s not fair. I need a clue, too.’ She grinned in her direction.
Clara pointed to the ‘g’. ‘Your first letter.’
‘Thanks,’ Madeleine said, frowning at her pile of tiles. ‘I think.’
Rose bit her lip as she settled her tiles into the correct order.Honest. She pushed the letters until they lay in an exact line, then looked at Clara.
‘Time to be, don’t you think?’ Clara said.
Rose closed her eyes for a few seconds, then mixed her tiles up. Her gaze settled on Madeleine as she slid her tiles around.
‘I’ve got it,’ Madeleine said.Genuine. The tiles were spaced haphazardly, but she beamed as she poked at them and then looked around. ‘Thanks,’ she said.
‘Valued?’ Lysander looked surprised, pushing at his tiles with a finger.
‘I wantedcherished, really, but there weren’t enough letter h’s. So, I had to settle forvalued. You need to look after yourself, Lysander.’ Clara wanted to spell out her reasons for giving him the word, worried he might manage to misinterpret. ‘And the important people in your life, too.’
Clara turned her attention to the last two people, the last two words. Gull completed his.Tenacity. He laughed. ‘I needed that to get through this game.’
Clara smiled, but she didn’t think he’d totally understood. Hoped he’d work it out. Because he was going to need tenacity, to deal with being a part of Tania’s life. So far, he seemed to be taking it all in his stride– even Lysander’s jibes– but Clara knew there would be plenty of unforeseen challenges.
Tania shook her head. ‘I can’t get it,’ she said. ‘The only word I’ve come up with isenough, but that can’t be right, can it?’ She looked at Clara for clarification.
Clara stared at her. Waited for her to catch up. Hoped she would. Because she was enough. She’d always been enough, even when she felt she fell woefully short.
Eventually, Tania’s expression altered, softened. And Clara nodded. ‘You always have been,’ she said.
Chapter 35
‘I get the feeling your brother is rather overprotective of you,’ Gull said as Tania closed her bedroom door, and he closed his arms around her waist. After they’d downed another couple of rounds of génépi, the overwhelming desire to have Gull all to herself again became too strong for Tania to ignore.
She huffed a laugh. ‘I wouldn’t call him protective,’ she said, wrapping her arms around his neck. ‘Proprietorial, perhaps. He likes to be in control of situations, of people.’ Shaking her head, she pressed herself against Gull, revelling in the way he tugged her closer in response. ‘Anyway, let’s not talk about him. Much more important things to do.’
Tilting her face to his, she paused. His gaze was on her, but his expression was quizzical.
‘Why don’t you think you’re enough?’ he said.
Tania hid her frown by burying her face in the soft jersey of his top. Up until this week, she would have pushed away from someone asking her such a personal question. She would have turned Clara’s word game into a joke, become dismissive. She would have packed her feelings away, folded them up and shoved them into a dark corner. Like she’d done ever since she could remember.
She wasn’t sure she had the energy to do that again. A few days in Gull’s company had already unpacked more emotions than she realised she possessed, and there were others, queuing up in the background, waiting for their moment in the sun. She wanted nothing more than to tell him how she felt– how she really felt– about … Oh God, about so many things. But the first step on that road would be to tell him who she was. And at that moment, his attitude towards her would undoubtedly change anyway, and she would probably be packing those feelings away, all over again, whether she liked it or not.
‘Does anyone ever think they’re enough?’ she said, hating the way she was still skating around the edges of what she really wanted to say.
