‘My daughter sent me a message, which is lovely …’
Then she’d clammed up. As if the smallest amount of sharing was a mistake and she had to seal her mouth shut rather than speak of it.
Grazia had turned out to be excellent in the kitchen – totally different from what Christos had imagined.
‘I would eat your dolmades any day,’ he’d said, bowing to her and kissing her hand. ‘Where did you learn to cook?’
‘In Georgia,’ she’d said simply. ‘My grandmother taught me. Not my mother – she was not the mothering type.’
Rose highlighted that remark in her mental notebook in case she needed it.
Dianne had carried the dirty plates into the kitchen and then vanished, which made Rose irritated, because she should have rinsed them and loaded them into the industrial dishwasher.
If they’d been in a proper rehab place, Dianne would have been washing the floor, cleaning the toilets or doing whatever her day’s chores were.
Still, she feels sorry for Dianne and whatever massive burden she carries. Anger is a symptom not the cause.
Everyone else is talking and Dianne is maintaining her little iceberg act.
It gets lonely on icebergs.
Finally, her notes finished, Rose undresses tiredly, taking the little piece of turquoise out of her pocket and putting it on the table.
The pain of holding it burns her and yet it’s the only link she has with him any more. Theo is gone.
There’s no point thinking about what she could have done better, which was just about everything.
But today has awakened the past for her, which is not what she’d planned.
For a woman who makes her living telling other people how to heal the pain of the past, she feels as if she’s spectacularly bad at managing this in her own life.
This was to be a spectacular return to business and a way to build Villa Artemis up.
She’s been negligent in not expecting it to throw up so many thoughts about her work in the past.
How she’d lost control of the runaway train that was her TV show. How she’d lost Theo.
The Instagram message has frightened her.
Despite her best efforts to keep her mind on the dynamics of the retreat, Rose keeps thinking about the way she and Theo would have been able to discuss how best to get through to the different people at Villa Artemis.
Accept the pain of sadness and loss, but know it’s further away than ever. Remember, your inner critic is rarely your friend.
It’s one of her favourite sayings, one she likes to leave people with when their sessions are over.
‘Remember it yourself,’ she thought, channelling her therapist, Vida. ‘You’re here to work not wallow.’
She has her notes all ready for the next day.
Who knows what will be revealed as the week goes on.
Rose had talked about it again at dinner.
‘The notebooks are private but, tonight, I want each of you to write down the answers to two questions. They’re just for your benefit, ideas to think about.
‘“What do I want most in the world?” and “What do I fear most in the world?”
‘Write the headings down and then any words that come to mind. Peace, health, a better job, to get on with your sister, your uncle, your boss – whatever you feel. Dan and Keera, perhaps you might write about how it felt to open up today.’
