Keera stares at him.
‘That was a shitty thing to say,’ she says calmly. ‘I’m owning my mistakes.’
‘Sorry,’ he mumbles, not meeting her gaze.
Keera lets the wave of triumph flood her. She’s told them her worst stuff, nobody shrank from it. She’s still here and she’s able to speak out for the first time ever.
She realises that Sasha’s smiling at her.
‘I haven’t cried yet today,’ Keera says.
‘There’s an urban myth that I make everyone cry,’ Sasha says, ‘but that only happens when people refuse to do the work. You do the work, Keera. It’s entirely true what they say, breaking ourselves open is truly the way the light gets in.’
Marceline’s taxi rolls up to Villa Artemis in a haze of smoky oud perfume and Billie Holiday singing about a man she loves.
Keera pays her and waits until Bernard has marched off to his room, anger seeping out of every pore.
‘Thank you,’ Keera says to Marceline. ‘It’s been lovely to go to town with you. You do look like Stevie Nicks and thank you for the great soundtrack to the drive. It’s been so helpful, thank you.’
‘I liked your “Firebird” song,’ says Marceline to Keera’s complete astonishment. She’s been so sure that nobody on Corfu has recognised her. ‘You’ve a beautiful voice, don’t stop singing because life got hard. The rest of us need your music.’
‘Thank you,’ stammers Keera.
Marceline waves and drives off.
Keera knows it’s time for bed because they’ve another early start, but she feels too wound up to go to her room.
Why had that memory of rehab come into her head?
She absolutely knows that a drink would be the wrong thing, but she ends up going out to the terrace so she can go to the bar.
The feel-good memories of drinking are in her head.
She can remember what happens to her when she drinks, feel that mellow buzz deep in her belly—
She stops as she realises that Dan’s standing on the terrace.
She’s about to say ‘Hi’ offhandedly but then she realises that he’s on the phone leaving a message.
‘Julia, I am so sorry. I felt I had to tell you. I am so sorry, so sorry. I know we’re on a break and that you wanted to be able to …’
Dan pauses and Keera hides in the shadows, really wishing she wasn’t hearing this, hoping Dan doesn’t see her.
She’s afraid to move in case he does.
‘I know you’re free to see other people, date other men. But I never wanted that, Julia. I didn’t want us to split up.’
He sounds both wound up and totally confused.
‘I’m terrified I’ve hurt you. It’s – this is all so strange. Talking about yourself, it’s not me, darling. Call me when you get this message. You’re beautiful, Julia, you’re the only one I love …’
Keera cringes at the desperation in his voice. Who precisely is he trying to convince?
‘You do understand that it wasn’t about beauty, nobody’s as beautiful as you,’ he pauses, helplessly. ‘Everything is different here, that’s all I can say.’
Shit. Keera feels the desire for alcohol soar right over her. That was a near miss.
But poor Dan.
