Bernard snorts again, more loudly.
It’s like family day in rehab, Keera thinks. Carnage.
India looks as if she’s afraid to breathe, while Dan looks mildly confused. He’s remarkably willing to work on himself, but thinks people can only have one issue. Not the smorgasbord that people generally have.
Dianne is on the edge of her chair. Her face is set in rage: not her usual irritation but in a fierce, unleashed anger.
‘I don’t care how you get your sexual kicks – whips, high heels, it doesn’t matter,’ Rose goes on. ‘It’s about thinking you can pretend this doesn’t affect your marriage. You’re hiding behind the mask of saying you need this.’
‘You sick bastard,’ hisses Dianne.
Bernard actually winces.
‘Sick, sick bastard. You don’t deserve her.’
‘You don’t understand—’
‘Damn straight we don’t.’ Dianne is in her stride now. ‘Screwing around on your wife and pretending it’s OK. Letting your kids treat her like shit! How dare you!’
‘Dianne,’ says Rose, using her dog-trainer voice. ‘Stop.’
Dianne stops.
‘We’re here to learn about relationships,’ Rose goes on. ‘Relationships are incredibly complex and, yet, understanding them is simple. What’s our first lesson on relationships, Keera?’
‘Becoming aware of other people’s needs and emotions,’ says Keera.
‘Gold star.’ Rose beams. ‘What do you do with that information, Keera?’
‘Personally?’
Rose nods.
‘OK, I do everything I can to make the other person happy. In my mom’s case, I jump on command if she’s not happy. But not any more.’
‘Excellent,’ Rose says and beams again. ‘Some people overdo this one. Like Keera, possibly India—’
‘Yeah,’ India nods and the silk flower in her hair – today it’s white – bobs. ‘Totes me. Want everyone to like me. My bad.’
Rose nods. ‘Some people are so attuned to others that they ignore their own emotions and thoughts, and focus totally on the other people. Which is not good. Others can’t see that other people have different emotions.’
Dan shifts in his seat. ‘You mean me?’
Rose considers it. ‘Well – you assume that your thinking is the right thinking all the time, specifically with certain people. You need to face that emotion and understand it, tolerate it. You can’t control other people. Sometimes you have to walk away from relationships when it becomes obvious that they are toxic to both you and the other person.’
‘What’s that got to do with pervy Bernard, then?’ snaps Dianne.
‘No judgement, Dianne,’ says Rose and skewers Dianne with a look. ‘Do you want to be judged?’
Dianne considers this and then shakes her head slowly.
‘So in this situation we are tolerant to our partner’s viewpoints, we try to understand them and respond with empathy. But,’ Rose pauses, ‘there are some situations which are too hurtful. We need reassurance. We don’t need conflict and situations being ignored. That’s why you’re here, Grazia, isn’t it?’
Grazia nods.
She doesn’t look at any of the rest of the group, just at Bernard, who looks calm apart from the faint shaking of his hands which are clasped on the table in front of him.
‘We didn’t have to do this in public, Grazia,’ he says.‘I can’t believe you wanted to discuss this here, now. You betrayed me and our family in the worst way. Taking out our dirty laundry in public and making me look like the bad guy.’
