Emily was always so busy with college and who knew when she’d be able to talk to her mother, but at that precise moment, Lou wanted nothing more than to speak to her beloved daughter. Emily, the child she adored who’d grown up into a woman she adored.
The little message ticks went blue.
Yes. Want to phone in five? Am still in library. Big assignment due. Constitutional Law – still! Will go outside to talk.
Bliss!
Lou stood up stiffly in the tiny bathroom, patted her sister’s damp head, and went up to the balcony where it still felt warm from the day’s sun. She somehow managed to give it six minutes before she dialled her daughter.
‘Hello—’
‘Hi Mum, are you having fun?’ began Emily’s warm tones.
‘Nooooo ... well, sort of,’ said Lou. ‘I just feel ...’
She couldn’t continue. Simply feeling Emily’s presence even on the other end of a phone was a balm. How many other people were a balm to her? Very few.Shewas the balm to a lot of people but those who returned the favour – there were less of them.
‘Mum, are you OK?’ said Emily. ‘There’s a lot going on—’
Lou interrupted. ‘I love you, Emily. I know I did something right when I see you and hear you.’
‘If I’m amazing, then I got to be that way because of you!’ Emily said cheerfully.
This time, Lou couldn’t stop the tears welling up.
‘But it’s true, Mum. One of my uni friends is gay and she has to pretend to be straight when her mother comes to visit because she feels her mother couldn’t take it. It’s horrible. Imagine having to hide who you are. Another one has to wear clothes with long sleeves to cover up the tattoo on her arm because her father will go ballistic if he sees it.’
Lou was silent. She felt a surge of love for her daughter. She had been a good mother. Still was. It was wonderful to talk to Emily and feel that, feel the love they shared. ‘Some people are so blinkered. You love me for me – not for who you think I should be. That makes you an amazing mum, and I love you.’
‘Thank you,’ said Lou fervently. ‘Love you too.’
Aware that her sister was still in the bathroom and that she should go back to her, Lou said quickly: ‘Toni said I was a people pleaser.’
It was like saying she was an axe murderer.
‘If being a people pleaser means you’re a lovely person and think about others all the time, then yes, you’re that. It only matters when you please the wrong people, Mum, like—’ Emily stopped.
‘Like who?’ prompted Lou.
‘Like Granny,’ said her daughter in a rush. ‘I am not calling her Lillian anymore. She’s going to be called Granny even if it makes her feel one hundred. She was so hideous to you.’
‘Your grandmother is tricky,’ said Lou. ‘Toni says that my relationship with Granny is one where I try to please her all the time, which is not good.’
‘Yeah,’ said Emily, ‘she does demand a lot from you. It’s all “Do this, Lou, clean the house, go to the shops for me, tidy the garden, you’re the milk of human kindness and I need two bottles of whiskey while you’re at it.”’ Emily paused in her imitation of her grandmother.
‘Am I the only person who didn’t see it?’ Lou asked, horrified.
‘Granny’s very self-centred,’ said Emily with the acuity of youth. ‘And you’re kind and caring. Toni’s kind too, but she knows when people are taking advantage of her. That’s what you need to learn. Toni doesn’t take any of Granny’s bull—’
Lou laughed loudly. ‘Thank you, darling Emily. Currently, your aunt Toni is lying on our bathroom floor after getting food poisoning from prawns that spent too long in the sun.’
‘Ouch.’
‘Exactly. But she’s going to help me be different.’
‘I love Toni, but don’t become like her,’ begged Emily.
‘I won’t. I’ll become a better version of me. One that stands up for me first.’
