‘It’s time to go,’ said Calum, looking at his watch. He’d dressed up especially in his version of smart-casual and he was wearing his shoes with the slight lifts on the heels. He wore his trousers low, so he thought nobody could see the shoes. For his sake, Savannah wished he was taller because then he’d be happy. Maybe that was it, maybe that was the problem.
‘Just running upstairs to er—’ she hastily cast around for a lie that would satisfy him – ‘get my bracelet, the one you really like.’ And she ran up the stairs.
He liked her to wear jewellery. Jewellery showed people how much money they had. And he liked that. Sometimes she felt ridiculous when she went out, with her diamond-drop necklace, the big Ceylon sapphire, her gold watch. Not that Calum bought her the jewellery. He’d bought the Ceylon sapphire but she’d bought the rest.
They’d be away and he’d spot something that he thought was appropriate and she’d snap down her credit card.
She ran into Clary’s bedroom. Her daughter was sitting on the bed, still dressed, her feet curled up around her, teddies near her.
‘Mum, don’t go out tonight, please.’
‘I have to, sweetheart,’ said Savannah, sitting down on the bed. ‘It’s Granny’s and Granddad’s special dinner and it’s for grown-ups only, darling, or I’d bring you, but it’s going to be fine. We won’t be late, I promise.’
‘I know,’ said Clary.
And Savannah could see the stoicism come into her little face. It was the stoicism of a child who knew that her needs did not come first. And that wasn’t about tonight’s dinner, it went much deeper than that. It was because Calum’s needs always came first, what he wanted, what would make him happy. They were the rules by which they lived their life. He ran their lives and they danced on eggshells around him.
Savannah had been trying for so long to make it all work and, still, she couldn’t.
She curled up on the bed beside her daughter, not caring that her flowing floral frock would get creased.
‘I promise I won’t be long,’ she said, ‘I’ll tell Granny you’re not feeling well and I’ll get away early.’
‘But Daddy will be sad,’ said Clary, with unerring accuracy.
‘No, he won’t,’ lied Savannah. ‘Don’t be silly, he won’t. Now, you go downstairs and sit with Marie-Denise, and I’ll text you every half-hour to make sure you’re OK and you can message me back on Marie-Denise’s phone and tell me how you’re doing. And at the first hint of you not feeling well or feeling sad and lonely, I’ll come home.’
‘OK.’
Savannah ran down the stairs and it was only when she got to the bottom that she realised that she hadn’t retrieved the extra bracelet that she was supposed to have been looking for. Calum looked at her wrist.
‘Where is it?’ he said.
He was like a sniffer dog sometimes, she thought wearily, noticing everything.
‘I couldn’t see it,’ she said. ‘It’s very odd. I must tidy out my jewellery box.’ She put a hand on his arm. ‘You’re so generous to me, darling. I’ve so many things I can’t find them all.’
‘Mm,’ he muttered. ‘Come on, let’s go.’
They were taking his car but it was an unwritten rule that Savannah would drive back afterwards so that he could have a couple of glasses of wine. It was like a rule of life: the man had a drink and the woman drove home and the man criticised how the woman drove. They were the rules. Savannah thought he’d be irritated if she left early to go home to Clary. What would he do then? He might have to accept a lift from somebody else or get a taxi. He hated taxis. But then he’d got one the other night, hadn’t he? She’d say something like, ‘that company you used the other night’. But then that might bring up the other night and he’d be annoyed. She got into the car, put on her seatbelt and made herself as small as possible. It didn’t make any difference, generally, but it helped, it helped her.
She didn’t notice the text at first and when she did, she didn’t read it. She’d see Rory at the restaurant.
The Shack was buzzing when Chantal and Rory arrived.
‘I will get Savannah,’ said Chantal, ‘if you can get Eden and Indy.’
‘Deal.’
Chloe was going to wait outside.
‘Do you think this is the right time to do this?’ Chloe said, anxiously.
Rory was astonished. In the time since she’d known her, Chloe never looked anxious. She was so self-contained, happy within herself.
‘Yes, it’s the right time. You need to know your sisters and your dad and it would be lovely for you to be at the wedding.’
‘I do want to go to the wedding,’ Chloe said, ‘but your mother—’
