Quickly she decanted the goulash into one of her own oven-proof dishes, stuck it in the oven and rinsed out the tubs.
Calum liked it better when Savannah made dinner from scratch but she’d picked up this little purchasing ready-meals trick from Eden and it meant she had so much more time.
Her husband was ludicrously obsessed with home cooking for a man who could only make steak and chips, and even then the chips had to be oven ones.
Eden had laughed the first time Ralph realised she had never made Thai Green Curry and bought it.
Calum would not find it funny at all. He was simply a more traditional sort of man, Savannah told herself.
With the goulash heating up, the table laid with candles and napkins because Calum loved the formality of proper settings and abhorred the notion of eating off their laps in front of the TV, she just had time to race upstairs and shower.
Her heart was beating a little too fast, her watch informed her as she sprinted up to the black granite-and-glass bathroom that Eden always told her looked like a hotel bathroom.
‘I don’t know why you picked this,’ Eden had said in mild confusion when she’d seen the granite, the profusion of glass, the charcoal walls. ‘You were such a fan of 1920s décor when we were young. You wanted a bathroom that would have fitted perfectly intoThe Great Gatsby, that’s what you said. All white and gold, spindly chairs, plants and a pretty little bath with claw feet.’
‘People change,’ Calum had said equably, arms around Savannah, his chin resting on her shoulder. ‘We love it, don’t we, darling?’
‘Love it,’ Savannah agreed with a broad smile that didn’t come close to reaching her eyes. Eden was opening cupboards and never noticed. Savannah didn’t want anyone to notice. Nobody would understand. Calum was so brilliant at being charming in public. Everyone adored him. Who’d believe her?
The shower was set to stabbing needles, which was how Calum liked it and was far too spiky for Savannah but she didn’t know how to change it and then change it back, so it was easier to leave it and get stabbed twice a day. Plus, it was fast.
Out, she dried herself, rewrapped her sore hand in its bandage, sprayed the perfume Calum liked – not one of hers – and put on the elegant skirt and blouse that Eden said made her look far too old. Lip balm, her hair up, her Apple watch off and her small Cartier one on, and she was nearly—
‘Hello?’
Savannah’s startled reflex did its reliable jerk and she was glad she wasn’t wearing the Apple watch anymore. A new app she’d inadvertently downloaded meant it beeped when her heart beat became elevated. Which was useful for some people, she was sure, but not for her.
She hurried out of the bedroom onto the landing to greet her husband, who liked a proper welcome, all the while feeling her pulse increase. She could feel it in her neck: sometimes, she was aware of the blood pumping through her carotid and she wondered why nobody could see it? It felt as if it were leaping in her neck:thump, thump, thump.
‘You look beautiful, darling,’ said Calum, bending to kiss her.
Savannah smiled. ‘Thank you.’
She allowed herself to relax a little. He was in a good mood. Thankfully. She allowed herself a moment of closing her eyes to say thanks to whoever was in charge. She had no idea where Calum’s moods came from but the bad ones were always her fault and he was probably right when he said that.
Shewasoversensitive, anxious. That would annoy anyone, wouldn’t it? She tried so hard not to annoy him but it was so terrifyingly easy to send him over from happiness to sheer rage. After rage, came the silent treatment which could last days and nearly broke her. Those times made her feel like a cowering animal, waiting for the rage to be over, waiting for even the faintest hint of peace in her life. Or what passed for peace.
But tonight, her husband was happy.
Savannah pasted on her magazine-cover smile and tried to quiet the ever-present feeling that something bad was round the corner.
‘Where’s my other girl?’ yelled Calum, and Clary appeared at her bedroom door, her hair brushed and tied up with a velvet ribbon.
Calum pulled her into the embrace with Savannah.
‘My girls,’ he murmured. ‘Don’t know what I’d do without you both.’
Savannah held on to them both. She could feel the tension radiating up from her neck into the base of her skull. She always had a headache now: a tautness around her neck that made her feel as if she would shatter into a million pieces if she didn’t control everything. Fierce control. Making sure everything in their lives was fine. Food in the fridge, the house perfect, Savannah smiling at her husband with her special smile, the one that said he was a giant among men.
Perhaps tonight would be a good night. A relaxing one.
PART TWO
7
People driving past the Sorrento Hotel that week could be forgiven for thinking it was open again.
Not like in the old days, obviously, because the stone wolfhounds were still a bit ivy-covered. Stu had always been marvellous at keeping the place going and perfectly maintained.
