‘Luke’s fine.’
‘You sure you don’t need to go to the doctor, get a – I don’t know, injection or something?’
There’s no injection for this, I think, absolutely no medication whatsoever.
I take the week off work. I’m so reliable, nobody suspects a thing. I literally cannot face people. In the day time, I sit with the puppies and I hold them and pet them. And Mum and Cliff, who’s been partnering her in bridge recently, come and walk them for me.
‘You poor darling,’ says Mum. ‘Now, I’ve brought you some chicken soup. You know it’s the best thing.’
‘Penicillin,’ says Cliff, smiling in that lovely paternal way he has. He’d be a lovely granddaddy for Luke, I think. What sort of person would he think I am if he knew what I’d done? Mum won’t judge me because she loves me and she loves Luke. But how can any other normal person think I’m anything but dirt? One of those other women. Before, I just thought of other women as Shazz and Christie, women who held me together, who were my family. Now I realise there can be many types of other women.
Somehow the week passes and it’s Thursday. Shazz calls me first thing, before Luke has left for school.
‘Why doesn’t Luke come and spend the night with us and we’ll bring him to school in the morning? It will be sort of a bit of fun, you’ve had a low week. And it’s been hard on him too. Send him in with an overnight bag, your mum can mind the dogs and you can just sleep and do absolutely nothing.’
I’m beginning to feel marginally better. I can eat a little. The chicken soup does work. And the thought of being on my own in the house, even without the beautiful dogs, helps; it would be peaceful. I can exorcise the memory of Nate in here. I could pray in each room, pray for forgiveness, even though I’m not religious.
‘That would be lovely.’
Shazz is off organising it in a flash.
That evening I fall asleep in front of the TV. I started watching a thriller and then the tiredness pulled me under, and suddenly I’m awake. I hear a tapping noise on the window and I get an awful fright. I look at my phone quickly, it’sten-forty.
Only Shazz would do this – but she has keys...? Something must have happened to Luke. I run to the door and unlock it and wrench it open. And there is Nate.
‘Hey, babe,’ he says, and he’s smiling at me like it’s over twenty years ago and we’re dating.
‘Nate?’ I say in disbelief. ‘You can’t come in. Not now, not ever again.’
‘Oh, honey, don’t be like that. I’ve thought about nothing but you all week,’ he says, and before I know it, he’s in the house.
‘Get out,’ I say.
‘Babe, don’t be like that,’ he says. ‘Look, last week was such awake-up call for me. I’ve always been crazy about you, Bea. You must know that.’
I can’t think of a thing to say for a full minute.
‘No, I don’t know that,’ I hiss. ‘You’re married to Marin, we’re friends, remember?’
He’s back in the kitchen and he looks, in some automatic male way, under the sink. ‘You got this fixed, right?’
‘Yes and don’t change the subject.’
‘I can do things for you like that now,’ he says, going for the kettle.
‘Nate, what are you talking about?’
‘Now we’re together. Where do you keep the glasses? I’ll have a straight one of those whiskeys from last week.’
‘We’re not together.’
‘Bea, last weekend in bed, it was amazing. I know you felt it too. Then, your mum was talking to Marin and said you weren’t well, needed a little time on your own. I can pick up the hints, you know. Of course it would have been easier if you had rung me yourself.’
I feel something akin to panic. This cannot be happening. Nate is a good man – dumb, for sure, because how can he not be reading my reactions, but a good man. Has he lost the run of himself entirely? He’s had a few drinks, I can tell. He likes good wine. How am I going to get him out of here?
‘We are not a thing,’ I say. ‘Last week was a mistake.’
‘You don’t mean that,’ he says, eyes glittering.
