Wine will help, I decide. I am lucky. I mustn’t forget it.
But to really cheer myself up, I log on to my current favourite account: Vestiare, where delicious and designer things are soldsecond-hand, so I have a hope in hell of buying them. Vintage clothes porn has got to be the purest art form for the shopaholic, I think, as I begin to scroll. Just something small, perhaps.
Nobody has to know...
6
Bea
I’m sitting in morning traffic, edging forward as rain lashes the windscreen and thinking that I’ll be at my desk atseven-fifty. According to the car radio traffic updates, there’s a blockage up the road due to an oil spill and I wish, as I often do, that my job was on a direct public transport route instead of being inconveniently situated.
In summer, getting to the big medical and dental clinic, where I work as secretary to the medics, means a walk and two buses. In winter, it means either three buses or just two and Scott of the Antarctic outer garments.
I hate the cold, which is why I keep holding off on getting a dog, despite Luke’s increasing begging for one.
‘Muuum,’ he begs. ‘I’d look after it. He could sleep in my bed and I’d feed him and walk him and everything.’
His idea of the perfect dog is a Husky, which needs lots of walking, apparently.
Parental Skills Update 2.0 means I know that I will be walking, feeding and cleaning up the poop of said Husky, so we will not be getting one, no matter how beautiful they look. I cannot fit in ten kilometres a day in all weathers. I’ve been researching, though. Sadly, there doesn’t appear to be any breed which doesn’t require much walking and is happy to sit at home watching the telly while I’m at work.
Still, making sure Luke never loses out is something of a mission of mine. Maybe it is time for a dog.
In place of a father figure, get a fluffy thing to love?
It does take a village to rear a child and, in our case, that village is almost anall-female one. Alongside myself, Shazz and Christie – or the Single Momma’s Club, as Shazz calls us – we have a pretty excellent support system going. My mum, Patricia, is one part of the village. Next up is Shazz’s mum, Norma, whom Shazz calls Normal.
I should point out that, sometimes, Shazz calls meBea-ch for a laugh. You’ve got to love her sense of humour, and we do spend a lot of time laughing in the Single Momma’s Club. ‘As long as we’re notReal Housewives of Beverly Hills,’ jokes Christie, which always makes us crack up.
As three women supporting our own kids, anything less like the Beverly Hills ladies would be impossible to imagine.
The final part of our support system is Christie’s dad, Vincent. He adores the twins, Daisy and Lily. Christie’s mother, on the other hand, has never even met her exquisite twin granddaughters.
‘Why?’ I couldn’t help but ask, the second time we met up, Shazz and I pushing Raffie and Luke in their buggies in the park close to both our homes. Christie, small and with short blonde curls, had her two teeny, gorgeous babies sound asleep in a double buggy and we began, as mothers with small children do, to talk.
Feeding, sleeping, nappies, the greatbreast-feeding versusbottle-feeding debate: we ran through all the big stuff first, and eventually worked our way round to real life.
‘She wanted me to have a happily married,two-point-five-children relationship and I haven’t. She thinks there’s something wrong with me because I don’t fit the mould.’
‘You not married, is that it?’ asked Shazz, who likes to know all the facts straight up.
For Shazz, it’s a point of principle not to let us happily marrieds into our gang.
‘No,’ said Christie.
‘Partner or did he do a runner?’ Shazz went on.
Shazz, brought up by a single parent herself, believes that all men leave one way or the other.
Christie gave us an assessing look. ‘I’m on my own,’ she said.
‘Us too,’ replied Shazz, happy to have found another member of the tribe. ‘My bastard legged it, Bea’s fella died. What about you?’
There was a beat.
‘I’m lesbian,’ Christie said finally. ‘It was always going to be just me.’
‘Their dad’s a turkey baster,’ said Shazz in delight. ‘Least you don’t have to worry about getting child support off it.’
