Finally, he spoke.
‘D’ya want to go into a corner and shift?’ As he uttered these romantic words, he was trying to get his hand up under my shirt. The embryonic magical spell, such as it was, was broken.
‘Shift?’ I asked, stupidly.
In those far distant days to shift meant to kiss the face off another human being. Think octopuses pressed against tanks with those suckers glued to the glass.
‘Uh ... I’m going to the ladies,’ I muttered, and ran.
And that was it.
Rumours circulated that Big Bird couldn’t kiss. Oh yes, and that I was frigid, still a popular stick for beating girls with.
Being a teenager was not all it was cut out to be, not for me.
I’m lost in this weird reverie of teenagerdom when Dan’s voice breaks into my musings.
‘OK honey, you can stay up a little bit later.’
My head swivels, sort of like that kid inThe Exorcist.
‘What?’
‘I was just saying that Lexi could stay up a little bit later,’ he says, giving me hisoh my God, I’m really in for it, aren’t I?look.
‘Maybe not tonight,’ I say, getting my careful Mummy voice out of itstissue-paper wrapping.
‘But Dad said I could,’ Lexi interrupts.
‘Dad forgot you have an ... um, French test tomorrow,’ I said, delving deep into my brain and coming up with the facts. There’s always an exam looming in secondary school. ‘You need a good sleep.’
‘Oh gosh, yes!’ she says.
It takes another fifteen minutes before she’s showered and settled in bed with her bedside lamp on and reading. For the first time, she’s got the beginnings of a few spots, I notice with a pang. Spots are so horrible and they are part and parcel of the whole teenage hormone thing.
Tomorrow, I vow, I’m going to get her some really good skin products that are good for both young skin and acne.
Lexi looks at me dreamily.
‘Mum,’ she says, ‘I feel so happy.’
I sit down on the side of her bed. I normally love these special times with Lexi, talking to her, trying to help her negotiate life, subtly give her the tools to move on ...
‘Elisa WhatsApped me! I mean wait till I tell everyone in school, they won’t believe it. I bet she gets loads of Surella products. They’re really, really cool.’
The happy mum bubble inside me bursts, like an acid rain cloud.
She is still on Planet Elisa and it hurts so much. Even our special time in bed is tainted with it.
‘That’s wonderful, darling,’ I manage to say. Just because I’m jealous and enraged doesn’t mean Lexi needs to know this. ‘You think about it now and we’ll talk more tomorrow, because I think Elisa talked to Dad.’
‘Yeah,’ she said happily, putting her book down on the bed. ‘Maybe she could come over here and see us. She’d love the house. She’s always saying she loves big fancy houses and we could do it up, right?’ Lexi looks at me with those big, beautiful dark eyes that are just like Dan’s.
Perhaps they don’t come from anywhere: perhaps they’re just Lexi.
I hug her tightly, more tightly than usual.
‘Mum, you’re squishing me.’
