Once, he’d have held my hand when we walked but now, he doesn’t.
Still, he’s walking with me and he still hugs me in bed at night, holding me close but briefly.
Like he can’t bear to hold me too long ...?
When he turns out his light at night, he used to say, ‘I love you.’
Now, he says nothing.
I still lie in bed at night not sleeping but I don’t get up. This is my bed, I’ve made it and I have to lie on it.
25
When life gives you lemons ... it’s entirely up to you what you do next. Lemonade is good but some days, you do feel like throwing them at someone
FromFreya: Learning to Live With It,Freya Abalone’s new TV cookery and lifestyle show
Miss Primrose promises to be at the launch forFreya, my new TV show, which has been given aone-word title in deference to my newfound fame.
‘We’ll only come if we can bring Tinkle,’ says Giorgio gravely, and he, Patrick and Miss Primrose and I all burst into laughter.
‘People will assume Tinkle is called Tinkle because she has no control over her nether regions,’ says Miss Primrose. ‘Plus, you need to get her fixed, boys. Whisper’s totally in love with her and we cannot have another lot of pups.’
‘Just one more litter,’ begs Giorgio who, now that he has delivered one litter of pups, feels he is at one with nature and wants to do it again.
‘We are getting Tinkle spayed,’ says Patrick firmly. ‘She needs a little pal and it will be a rescue.’
‘She’s a rescue herself,’ points out Giorgio, ‘but I never tell her that as she thinks she’s a princess.’
‘Posie’s the same,’ I say, referring to Tinkle’s offspring, one of the two pups I took from the litter, both girls. Posie can’t quite believe she doesn’t have a seat at the table with us. Magic is quite content to sit in her bed.’
‘Teddy will soon fix that,’ Patrick laughs.
Teddy is a bit of a dog whisperer and all our dogs revere her as their queen. Once Teddy truly begins to teach my two new puppies how to misbehave, all the dog training books will be useless.
My mother has taken another of the litter, although Delilah the cat is quite put out by the little bundle of fur that now roams the kitchen and gives my mother solace now that Dad is in a nursing home.
Mum has a step monitor on her watch and she and Bella walk every morning, something which is putting the colour back in my mother’s face.
She visits my father every day, and some days, Eddie comes along and has found a whole contingent of people in the nursing home who also likeNazi Megastructures.
‘This is my son, Lorcan,’ Eddie says proudly to everyone. ‘He loves theGuinness Book of Recordstoo. Ask us anything. Anything.’
And of course, we took two dogs. Because Teddy insisted and she is in charge.
‘What are we all doing?’ says Dan, appearing at the kitchen door where Teddy, Lexi and I are working on a recipe.
We are losing ingredients speedily as Teddy is eating the cherries, while Lexi has found my decorating balls and is making a complex pattern on a jam jar lid that will take an hour to recreate on top of the cake.
We have discussed this new cake and Teddy wants to call itTeddy’s Cake, which may just be its name.
Liam is outside in the garden with the newly vaccinated Posie and her much smaller, and deliciously lazier sister, Magic, and they are playing ball. Or rather, Liam and Posie are playing ball.
Tinkle, Posie and Magic’s mother, is definitely a silky terrier cross while her boyfriend, and therefore father of her many pups, was possibly a Chihuahua. While Posie is all bouncy terrier intelligence with white silky fur like her mother, Magic is very Chihuahua, adoe-like fawn colour and with the air of an exquisitely tiny haughty queen.
She can easily get upstairs on her own but much prefers being carried.
‘Will we go for a walk with the mad beasts and the dogs along Sandymount Strand?’ says Dan.
