I feel sorry for her.
OK, she has a Chanel wallet and I don’t, but apart from that, I am blessed and she is not. She has great muscles, a yoga body, and simply the wrong priorities in life.
In Dan’s and my bedroom, I find an old sweatshirt and sweatpants because I know that whatever I give her, I will never see it again.
She changes in front of me, almost forgetting I’m not one of her crew, and she struggles out of herSpanx-stylesucker-in garment, leaving her in bra and knickers. Without all the effort, she’s got a normal body for a woman of her age, a woman my age.
‘Thanks,’ she says, balling up her dress and holding it under her arm. ‘Er, do you have any tampons ...?’
I blink. ‘I thought you were pregnant?’ I say bluntly.
‘So did I. Probably why Etzu did a runner. He’s safe now,’ she says with bitterness. ‘It came on this morning.’
I hand her tampons and let her into the unused avocado suite off the landing.
‘This is soo cool,’ she says, sounding happier. ‘Green is really in. Who did it for you?’
‘Andy Warhol,’ I reply.
‘Is he local?’
‘Nah. Not anymore.’
A noise makes me look around and Lexi’s creeping up the stairs, eyes wide.
‘Is she all right, Mum?’ she says, cuddling into me outside the door, as if a monster’s inside.
‘Fine.’ I don’t add all the other things I think – that she’s silly, interested in all the wrong things. I wonder why I was ever so scared of her?
‘Mum, I don’t want her to say she’s my mother anymore. Is that OK?’ Lexi’s big brown eyes burn into mine.
‘Whatever you say, darling. But you know she’s there if you ever wanted to talk to her again.’
She makes that teenage gesture that says ‘yeah/no/whatever’ and I grin.
‘I love our party,’ I say. ‘You and Caitlin were brilliant helping Lorraine with the flowers and making places pretty.’
‘I know.’ Her smile gleams at me. ‘Can you do that as a job?’
‘I think so,’ I say. ‘You can do whatever you want. Now, get something nice for Elisa to eat. Some of our chocolate cake?’
Elisa sits on the bed and with her feet curled up around her, almost licks the plate clean.
‘You can really cook,’ she says to me.
‘Mum’s a brilliant chef,’ corrects Lexi.
‘I never eat stuff like this,’ Elisa says. Then adds: ‘I’ve probably put on five pounds from just eating it. I’ll be fired ...’
Her face falls.
‘The contract with Surella ...?’ I ask, somehow knowing the answer.
She nods. ‘Stupid bas—’
‘We don’t swear in this house,’ I interrupt just in time.
‘Sorry, Lexi. Sorry Freya. They want someone younger for the second wave of publicity, whatever that is.’
