Not like that would help anyway.
Tara pursed her lips, to match his pissed-off expression. “So you’re going to talk to me like I’m an adult now, huh? Not a baby sister you have to always look out for? Is that why you had your friend keep an eye on me and call you when I’m about to do something you won’t like?”
“I never told Madden to keep an eye on you. He called because he knew how important it was.” He threw his hands in the air. “He called because he knew you wouldn’t. And you should have, Tara. You can’t just run away and leave me wondering where you are.”
“Like you did?”
Her words hit him harder than the IED that took out his tank overseas.
They’d had this argument so many times, and this time, he really needed Tara to hear him. He gripped both her shoulders and ducked his chin so she couldn’t look away. “I did run, and I left you behind, and I’m sorry. But I couldn’t take you with me and I needed to get out to save myself. I was afraid if I stayed, I’d become Dad.”
Tara’s facial expression softened. “You could never.”
He lifted a shoulder. “I might. Every time he called, it made me want to drink. Every time he needed me to bail him out or he guilted me into giving him money or walked away from rehab, I wanted to drink. If I didn’t put distance between me and him, it would have created the same demons in me that he has fought all these years. It would have killed me. And now what kills me is thinking the same thing might happen to you.”
Tears hovered above her lashes. “I won’t ever be like Dad, but I can’t walk away and not help him. I can’t give up hope.”
“You might not end up like him, but my fear is you’ll end up like Mom.”
She squeezed her eyes closed for a beat and the tears rolled down her cheeks.
“I don’t want you to lose hope,” he said, pressing on. “Not in Dad and not in anyone. You have a big heart. It’s one of your best qualities. But you’ve given up so much. Lost so much. When will Dad be forced to look out for himself? Clean up his own messes?”
“He’s all alone. He doesn’t have anyone looking out for him.” Tara wiped her eyes and sniffed.
Reid struggled to hold back his frustration. “He’s ourfather. He’s supposed to look out for us, not the other way around.”
“I know that, but… I don’t know. That’s just never the way it’s been. He’s always needed me more than I needed him.”
“But that doesn’t make it right or mean it’s the way things always have to be.” He gave her shoulders a little squeeze. “Eve and I talked about this last night. She helped me to see the flaws in the way I’ve viewed things all these years. Seeing that doesn’t mean I’m cured of my bad thoughts or self-destructive behavior. But realizing I need to make a change is the first step, right, Eve?”
He glanced over his shoulder and frowned. “Eve?”
She wasn’t there.
A boulder of apprehension sat in his gut as he bounced onto his tiptoes to peer above the growing crowd. “Eve!”
A few curious glances from passersby were the only response.
Tara gripped his arm. “She was just right there.”
“I know,” he snapped and grabbed his phone. He dialed her number and pressed the phone to his ear. “Come on. Pick up. Pick up.”
Her voicemail message came on, and his apprehension turned to cold, blinding panic.
“We’ll find her,” Tara said. “She couldn’t have gone far.”
He stared into the reassuring eyes of his sister as fear pressed against his windpipe, blocking the path of his breaths to escape. He struggled to take in air, to let it out. Struggled to see beyond the suffocating reality that Eve wouldn’t just walk away. She wouldn’t wander off or do anything to make him worry.
“Reid, look at me.” Tara kept her voice calm and steady. She flattened her palms on either side of his face. “Eve may or may not be in trouble. Either way, we have to find her right away, okay?”
Unable to speak, he nodded his agreement.
“You know what to do now. So do it.”
He finally let out a shuddering breath. Tara was right. This was his job, and he wouldn’t stand here and fall apart when Eve’s life could be at stake. With his phone still in his hand, he called Madden. While he waited for an answer, he said, “You head south. Call out Eve’s name and keep your eyes open for anything unusual. If you see anyone who looks familiar, ask if they’ve seen Eve.”
Tara took off, her pace quick.
