She wanted to argue with him, but he said it with suchconviction. So she had no words, just an ache in her heart. Because he could tell her a million things, but she didn’t think he’d ever be able to convince her he wasn’t good or brave. No matter what he said.
“I’ve been to jail.”
Well, she hadn’t expectedthat. But it didn’t add up. Not yet. “Then how did you become a police officer?”
“My record was cleared. It was…gang stuff, a frame job. But there were things I did in that gang. I broke the law. I hurt people.”
“Because you liked it or to protect people who weren’t as strong as you?”
He didn’t answer that right away. She hadn’t thought he would. She wasn’t surprised that he didn’t really answer the question at all. Just side-stepped it.
“I belonged there.”
She shook her head. She knew she was in out of her depth here. She could never imagine what it was like to grow up with all that awful around you. It broke her heart that some people had to.
But more, it amazed her the strength of spirit to walk out of it. He didn’t see that, and maybe she couldn’t convince him of it.
But God she had to try. And not just because she wanted some…chance to see where that kiss would go. But because he deserved to see himself as he was.
“If your record was cleared, that makes it sound like you didn’t. And the law itself didn’t think you did. And the entire Bent County Sheriff’s Department certainly doesn’t think you did either.”
“What I did? None of it was heroic.”
She tried to really put herself in his shoes. Understand how he might view it. But she couldn’t get past the fact…too many people loved him, trusted him. He’d been given too many chances not to be the man he seemed like he was. “Wasn’t it?”
ROYAL DIDN’T KNOWwhy they were having this conversation. She’d just looked at him and he’d seen…too much in her eyes. Hope and care and just what he’d told her—she looked at him and he felt as brave and good as she saw him.
But he wasn’t, and she had to know. With that kiss rattling around in his head acting like some kind of…precursor to a bigger change than he’d counted on, he had to make sure sheknew.
Before they took one more step forward. She had to understand. She could not look at him and see him as her hero.
He had failed too many times to be anyone’s hero, and the thought of failingherin this moment, in any moment, it hurt too much to bear. It was bad enough when it was Brooke, but Brooke was his sister, his blood. She was stuck with him, with that belief in what he could be.
Franny didn’t need to be mixed up with or chained to…all the bad he was. Deep inside.
But Franny crossed the space between them. She stopped only when they were practically toe to toe. She met his gaze, her green one serious and kind. Her hand came up to his bicep.
She could be so awkward and unsure of herself, but the way she saw people was so astute. She’d had him pegged before he’d really told her anything about himself.
So maybe you could listen to her.
But it just felt wrong. Bone-deep wrong. To let anyone think he was anything better than what he was.
“The tattoo you have right here,” she said quietly, intently, squeezing his bicep. “When you’re wearing a T-shirt, I can only see the bottom of it. But it looks like the bottom of a heart.”
He didn’t know where she was going with this, or maybe worse, he was afraid he knew exactly where she was going. Because she just seemed to be able to see through him, read him, and it should feel wrong. Itwaswrong.
But he didn’t move.
“What is it?” she asked.
He didn’t want to tell her, but that would make this line of questioning a bigger deal than it was. “Yeah, it’s a heart.”
“For what?”
“They don’t all have meaning.” These days, some just served as a reminder of who he’d been, what he’d allowed, all he’d failed.
“For what, Royal?” she repeated, very calm but the kind of calm he could recognize wasn’t going to falter or be pushed away. He had to tell her. Somehow…she’d know if he lied.
