Smokey had a tub at his house but he didn’t want to take her there until they had some idea of how the fucker who’d beat the shit out of her was going to react to her leaving.Until then, he wanted to keep both her and Carter here, to make sure they were safe.
Smokey waited until Freud left, leaving just the three of them in his room.He sat facing her on the bed, Carter laying on his back talking to his feet between them.
“How long have you known?”
“Known?”She didn’t look up at him but kept her gaze on Carter.
Smokey didn’t know if she was buying time or if she truly didn’t know what he was talking about, so he clarified.“How long have you known Carter is mine?”
“Since he was born.”Her voice was so soft he wasn’t sure if he’d heard her right.
“If you’ve known for months, how did he just find out?How were you sure?”
“Let me show you.”She picked up Carter and set her in her lap, his back to Smokey.He watched as she lifted the back of their son’s shirt then rolled down the edge of his diaper on his left side.“Rod saw it, but he didn’t know what it meant.”
Smokey stared at the dark spot, roughly the shape of Australia, low on his son’s back.The world spun for a moment and tingles stung as they spread from the top of his head down his body, as if he’d passed through some invisible portal into the strange and surreal.Smokey had seen a spot almost identical to the one on Carter’s back before.And though he’d never seen it anywhere but in a mirror, he knew he had one too.The one he’d seen was on his father’s back.He’d also heard that his grandfather had a similar one, but Smokey had never seen it.
“But you’ve seen mine,” he said, still staring at the mark in wonder.He’d known Carter was his, just from his eyes but this left no doubt.While the courts might require a DNA test for proof, he didn’t need it.
He wanted to pull them both into his arms, to hold them and swear he’d never let them go again, but he didn’t want to accidentally hurt her or to scare her away, so he stayed where he was.
“Why didn’t you call?Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I don’t know.At the time I just didn’t have the energy to deal with it all.It’s an excuse, and I know it but it’s also the truth.Carter didn’t sleep well at first and I was exhausted all the time.I knew it would cause trouble and I couldn’t handle even the thought of it.”She shook her head.“I should have told you.”
“Yeah, you should have, but it’s in the past.I know now, so let’s move forward.Let’s see what we need to do to get you free of him, then we’ll go from there.”He didn’t tell her he wasn’t letting her go again.That would only scare her and that was the last thing he wanted.
No.
It would be better to let her get used to him, get used to having him around all the time, to his helping with Carter and showing her how much he loved her.
Loved her?Where the hell had that thought come from?He watched her for a moment, the way she cuddled and talked to Carter and knew.He’d hadn’t been willing to admit it, least of all to himself, but that was part of why he’d hated seeing her marry the fucker who’d hurt her.And now, he wished he’d stood up, that he’d said something to stop the whole thing.But wishes were for dreamers and fools, and he worked hard to be neither.All he could do was move forward.Now that he knew what she meant, he wouldn’t be letting her slip away again, at least not without knowing exactly how he felt about her.
But he couldn’t just blurt it out now, she’d never believe him.Besides, what if all Tania was to him was a way out?She hadn’t come to him and told him about his son.She hadn’t come to him and asked for help.He’d run into her, literally, and stepped in and took over when he’d seen her hurt.
“I see you found something to wear.”He reached out and hooked a finger on the sleeve of the shirt she wore, tugging for just a second before releasing it.
“Taylynn gave it to me.She thought it would be easier if I was at least partly covered while we took pictures.I’m sorry.”
“Hey.”He waited until she met his gaze to continue.“I don’t mind.I like seeing you in my clothes.Want a pair of sweats?I don’t mind you hanging around in here without pants on, but there will be lunch down stairs before too long and I’d rather you not wander around in just a shirt and panties in front of my brothers.They’re decent men, but the ones that don’t know you might mistake you for a mama, and then I’ll end up in a fight.”
“What’s that?”Tania asked with a frown.
“What?”he asked, not sure what she was talking about.
“A mama.Taylynn mentioned them too, but she didn’t say what she meant.”
“Mamas are the girls who hang around a club to service the men.”
“Service?Does that mean what I think it does?”Her nose crinkled.
“Probably.They’re here for sex, Shell.They’re here of their own free will; no one is being forced to be here or to stay once they come.They suck and fuck and they’re happy to do it.”
“What do they get out of it?”
“Other than the sex?Protection.While they’re not members or old ladies, we protect them.No one gets to abuse our mamas, not even one of us.”
“And do you fuck them?”
