Her hand comes up to touch my face. "I didn’t see your father, Nick. I wasn't afraid of you. I've never been afraid of you. But you did hurt me." She holds my gaze, and I see the cost of what I did reflected there. "We've never slept apart. We've never gone to bed with that kind of distance between us."
“I know.” I scowl at the memory, hating myself even more now. “I went to the bedroom door after you left. Stood there holding the handle like a coward but I couldn't make myself turn it."
She gazes up at me, surprised. "You did?"
I nod. "I wanted to come in. To hold you, apologize, beg you to forgive me for being such a bastard." I shake my head, the self-loathing thick in my throat. "But I thought you needed space. Thought maybe you'd be better off without me forcing my way back in. I made the wrong call. I should have opened that goddamn door."
She's quiet for a moment. Something moves behind her eyes, not quite forgiveness yet, but something close.
"I needed you to come in," she says finally. "I lay there waiting for you, and you never came."
The words lance through me. "I was scared." The admission scrapes out of my mouth, but I don’t care. She needs my truth too. Even if it costs me some of my pride. "I was afraid you wouldn't want me there. That you’d push me away.” I swallow hard. “Not that I didn’t deserve it if you did.”
She studies my face for a long moment. I hold still under her scrutiny, letting her see whatever she needs to see. Then she rises on her toes and kisses me, soft, slow, her forgiveness poured into me like something I haven't earned but am desperate to keep.
"I always want you there," she whispers against my mouth. "Always, Nick. Even when I'm angry. Even when you've hurt me. I still want you there."
Relief moves through me, warm and absolute, loosening something that's been clenched tight in my chest since last night.
"All day, I couldn't think about anything except you." I pull her closer, needing the contact like I need air. "And when you weren't where you said you'd be, I thought—" I stop. Shake my head. "I thought I'd finally destroyed us. That you'd realized you deserve something better. A better man than me."
"Never." Her fingers slide into my hair. "Never that. I'm here, Nick. I'm not going anywhere."
“Thank God for that.” I cup her face in my hands and lower my mouth to hers again. What starts as comfort deepens into something else, need rising between us, hunger that's been building since before last night, since before any of this. Her lips part under mine and I taste her, stroke my tongue against hers, swallow the soft sound she makes.
"Forgive me," I murmur against her mouth. "I was a selfish bastard. Never again."
My lips find her jaw. The column of her throat. The place where her pulse hammers against my tongue. She gasps and arches into me, her body pressing against mine, and the soundtravels through my entire body, igniting something hot and urgent inside me.
"I love you, Avery. God, I love you so fucking much." I pull back, holding her gaze as I smooth my palm down to rest against her stomach. "I love both of you."
“Nick,” she gasps, tears welling in her eyes.
I kiss her once more, deep and thorough, then slowly sink to my knees in front of her.
She makes a soft sound as I press my lips to the fabric covering where our child grows. My hands settle on her hips, steadying her, holding her in place while I breathe against her belly. The reality crashes over me with fresh awe. A baby, our baby, this impossible thing we've made in all those nights when I was buried so deep inside her I couldn't tell where I ended and she began.
"Hey there," I murmur against her stomach. "I'm your dad, little one.”
Avery laughs above me, the sound thick with tears. Her fingers run through my hair, her touch tender.
I turn my head and press my ear to her belly, listening for something I know I can't possibly hear yet—a heartbeat, a flutter, any sign of the life growing inside her. There's nothing but the soft rhythm of her breathing, the quiet of her body, but I stay there anyway, eyes closed, just feeling her. Feeling this moment.
"I can't believe this is real," I say quietly.
"It's real." Her voice is wonder and tears and joy. "We're going to be parents, Nick."
I press one more kiss to her belly, then rise to my feet and gather her against me. In one motion, I lift her, slipping one arm beneath her knees, the other supporting her back. She curls into my chest like she belongs there. Because she does. She always has.
"I missed you so much today," she whispers, her head tucked into the curve of my shoulder, her hand pressed flat against my heart.
"I missed you too, angel." I kiss the top of her head and start toward the bedroom, carrying her weight easily, savoring the warmth of her body against mine. "And now I'm going to spend the rest of the afternoon showing you exactly how much."
She tips her head back to look at me, and I see the heat building in her eyes, matching the fire already burning through my veins. My cock stirs against her hip, and I don't bother hiding it. I want her to feel what she does to me. What she's always done to me.
"I need to be inside you," I tell her, my voice rough with want. "I need to be naked with you. Feel your body against mine. The way we should’ve been last night."
“Yes.” She gives me a soft, hungry smile. "I need that too.”
