Phaedra sat there, watching night begin to fall, and wondering if maybe she was the one who was going to wake up one day and realize she had pushed everyone out of her life.
CHAPTER 20
“Need any help with that?”
Micah briefly looked up at the sound of his father’s voice. “Nah, I’m good.”
He had spent the past couple of hours in the weapons room selecting the equipment he planned to take with him tomorrow when he and the rest of the Deadlands team would be leaving.
Mostly, he’d been doing his damnedest to avoid running into Phaedra after their clash outside the war room.
If he didn’t steer clear, he was only going to make her despise him even more than she did already. Or, worse than that, he might do something stupid like get naked with her again or tell her he didn’t want her returning to Rome. Not because the Order had deemed it best strategically that she stay under their watch, but because he wasn’t ready to let her go.
Neither option was any good for her.
And he couldn’t allow himself to get any deeper when it came to his feelings for her, either.
He had set his course a long time ago. He couldn’t step off it now, when the Order was taking hits from all sides and his duty as a warrior had never been more vital.
Opening a cabinet that held an array of blades, he chose a pair of curved daggers and tested the feel of them in his hand. He put one of them back, and the other went into a sheath on his weapons belt.
“Your mother is worried about you heading back to the Deadlands,” Tegan said as he stepped farther into the room. “She won’t say it to you, but I think you should know.”
Micah grunted. “It’s only an expedition. Locate the ship, search for the crystals, and, hopefully, bring them back with us.”
“Sounds easy enough,” Tegan said, but the skepticism in his voice wasn’t missed on his son.
“If we run into problems with Selene or anyone else, I’ll be ready for them.”
“You’re still itching for that fight, aren’t you?”
It wasn’t really a question. His father knew him too well to wonder if Micah still burned with the need to avenge his fallen team. Hell, they were more alike than either one of them probably cared to admit.
“The five lives ashed in those woods demand justice. I’m not going to stop craving that payback if I have to spend the rest of my days looking for it.”
“You sure you’re not looking to punish yourself?” Tegan stared at him. “You didn’t kill your men, Micah.”
He scoffed. “Didn’t I? We went into the Deadlands on my command. I’m just as responsible as anyone else.”
“If you hadn’t gone in, we’d have no idea the crystals might be in the Deadlands somewhere. Jenna’s vision of the ship in a forest could have placed them anywhere. It was you and Phaedra who provided the connection we’d be missing otherwise.”
Micah frowned. “We can’t be certain the crystals are there.”
“Phaedra doesn’t seem to have any doubt.” His father’s unblinking gaze was inscrutable. “She’s a remarkable woman. It’s too bad she’s got a civilian life waiting for her return. We could use someone with her incredible power, not to mention her courage.”
Christ, Micah couldn’t argue that. Phaedra would be—and was, in fact—an invaluable ally to the Order. But courageous and powerfully gifted or not, seeing her on the front lines of their battles was the very last place he wanted her to be.
“She’s going back to Rome after we finish in the Deadlands,” he stated as tonelessly as he might give a count of the rounds on his weapons belt.
“I thought Lucan decided she should stay under our protection.”
“He did. Phaedra doesn’t care what the Order thinks is best. She’s leaving.”
“I see,” Tegan said.
Micah scowled. “I’m going to ask Lucan to talk with Lazaro Archer, see if he can put one of his men on her security, even if they’ve got to do it covertly.”
Tegan grunted. “I thought you might be the one to volunteer for that duty.”
