“No,” Phaedra said. “I can’t imagine it does.”
“But loving someone is always a risk. It’s the most important one we can ever take.” Elise turned her head, her expression soft. “Don’t you agree?”
“I suppose it is, yes.”
Elise stared at her for a long moment, then slowly nodded her head. “I understand you’ll be leaving tomorrow with the team heading back to the Deadlands.”
“We leave in the morning.”
“Look after him for me.”
Phaedra held the entreating lavender gaze that was so similar to Micah’s. “Of course, I will. I’ll do whatever I can to shield everyone on the team.”
“Micah would hate that I’m afraid for him. I know I shouldn’t be. He’s every bit as skilled and fearless as his father. He always has been so much like Tegan.” Elise’s smile faltered a little. “I suppose that’s exactly why I worry.”
There was something reassuring and grounding about the idea that a six-and-a-half-foot-tall, intimidating wall of muscle, might, and lethal power still had a mother who fretted over him.
Phaedra worried too.
She worried that Micah was so intent on pushing people away, one day he was going to wake up and realize he had no one left around him. Or worse, his refusal to let anyone in might send him down a dark path from which he might never find his way back.
Phaedra feared for him for many reasons, but right now, it was her heart she needed to protect.
“I don’t plan to return with the Order after we complete our search for the crystals, Elise. My place is in Rome, not here. I’m not afraid of what Selene might try to do to me, and I will never allow myself to be used to harm the Order or any of its members.”
Elise nodded, studying her in pensive silence. “You care deeply for my son, don’t you?”
Phaedra glanced down at her hands. “Our lives are too different.”
“Because you’re Atlantean and he’s Breed?”
“No. Because I don’t think I have the courage to let myself fall in love with him.”
“Oh, I see.” Elise’s placid tone indicated she understood far more about that than she was letting on. Phaedra looked up and saw a quiet sympathy in the other woman’s eyes. “I was adopted as a child by a well-respected, affluent Breed family in Boston. I had everything I could possibly want or need. Eventually, I fell in love. I became the Breedmate of a good man, and we had a son together, Camden. I thought my life was perfect. It was perfect . . . and then it all fell apart. Quentin was killed in the line of duty. Several years later, our teenage son fell victim to a destructive narcotic that turned him into a blood addict. Before I knew it, Camden was dead too.”
“I’m so sorry,” Phaedra said, reaching out to squeeze Elise’s hand.
She had the sense there was a lot more to both the story and the pain Elise was sharing. The fact that she felt comfortable sharing what she had made Phaedra feel an instant friendship with her, a kinship that touched her deeply. It was a feeling Phaedra regretted because she knew this, too, would be lost to her when she returned to Rome.
Elise placed her other hand over Phaedra’s. “When I met Tegan, I couldn’t have been in a worse place emotionally. Our lives couldn’t have been more different. Was I terrified to let myself fall in love with him? You have no idea. But I would’ve been even more afraid to live my life without having taken that chance.”
Phaedra nodded. “It’s been a long time since I’ve risked opening my heart to love. I was married many years ago, Elise. He was human. He was a gentle man. A safe man.”
“There’s no shame in wanting those things in a mate.”
“I know. But I didn’t really find my purpose until he was gone. A violent man killed Niccolo when he got between the man and the woman he was beating. After that, I opened my house to women and children in need of protection. I’ve been doing it ever since.”
Elise smiled. “You’re a bit of a warrior yourself, Phaedra. And I think your heart has more courage than you know. I can see why fate would want to put you and Micah together.”
Phaedra shook her head. “I’d always believed in destiny because my parents had that rare bond. But if it was fate that made Micah and I meet in the Dreamscape, shouldn’t it be easier for us to be together?”
“That’s not something I can tell you,” Elise said, her voice gentle. “The only place you’ll find that answer is in your own heart. You and Micah both.”
She rose from the little bench, glancing over her shoulder as the last of the warming rays dipped below the tree line. “The sun will be gone soon. Are you coming inside?”
“In a few minutes,” Phaedra said.
“All right.” Elise folded her arms against the rising chill and quietly returned to the mansion.
