I nod, because as stark and horrific as the statement is, it’s the truth.
“He wasn’t wearing a seatbelt,” I explain, my voice quiet. “The impact threw him from the car. He died on the scene. Mom and Jen and I all spent time in the hospital with varying injuries, but we survived.”
Jared nods soberly. “That scar under your arm. This is the accident you told me was no big deal.”
I can’t pretend the crash—and my father’s cold actions—were anything less than life-altering. Not with this man. His gaze has had the power to look inside me from the very beginning. Even if I tried to hide this pain from him now, I couldn’t.
And I don’t want to.
I realize it with a clarity that shocks me.
“There are times, even now, when I wake up in the dark bathed in a cold sweat and dreaming that I’m still in that car. I’m twenty-five years old, yet I go to bed sometimes afraid to shut my eyes because I know I’m going to see my father’s dead stare looking back at me.”
On a groan, Jared gathers me close. “I’ve been an asshole with you this whole time, Melanie. I’m sorry for that. I’m sorry for what happened a few days ago, too.”
“It’s okay.”
“No, it’s not.” He draws me away, scowling. “I had no idea what you’ve been through, or I never would’ve—”
He breaks off on a low curse and shoves his hands into the front pockets of his jeans.
“You never would have what?”
He gives a tight shake of his head. “If I’d known, I never would’ve started any of this with you. Not the painting, not the contract I made you sign. I sure as hell never would’ve allowed myself to get half-drunk and then force myself on you the way I did out at the studio.”
I can see the torment in his face, the remorse. “I don’t like the fact that you drink as much as you do,” I admit to him. “If you have problems, Jared, you need to find a better way to deal with them.”
“I know,” he answers tightly. “Fuck, I know that.”
“As for the rest of it, you don’t have to apologize.”
“Yes, I do—”
I silence him by going up on my toes and brushing my lips against his. His beard-shadowed jaw feels like rigid granite under my palm as I draw back from him. His eyes burn into me, hot with desire. The tender comfort he showed me a moment ago has shifted into a desire I can feel in the heavy throb of his heartbeat, and in the hard length of his erection pressing into my abdomen.
“You don’t have to apologize, because you didn’t force anything on me, Jared. Not that day out at the studio. Not anytime we’ve been together. I entered into this with my eyes open. I wanted you, too.”
“You shouldn’t.” His scowl darkens. “I’m not the kind of man you should admit that to, either. Especially not when the only thing preventing me from acting on it is the fact that there’s a little girl sleeping just above our heads.”
Katie’s the only thing that would keep me out of Jared’s arms right now, too.
It’s a slim tether to cling to, one he seems to be grappling with as much as I am. “I should go, before I prove I’m any more of a bastard.”
An electric silence simmers between us for a long moment, only to be broken by my phone’s chime sounding from in the kitchen. “I have to answer that. It could be the hospital.”
He nods, but doesn’t follow me into the kitchen while I run to take the call. It’s not the hospital’s number on the screen. It’s Eve.
“Hey,” I answer, a bit breathlessly. “What’s going on? Aren’t you supposed to be in your client meeting?”
“I’m just heading into it,” she says. “Don’t hate Gabe, but he literally just told me that he ran into Jared Rush at the Baine offices today. Apparently, Jared’s really concerned about you and was going to look for you at the hospital. Gabe told him where you were, Mel. I hope you’re not mad.”
“I’m not. And he did—find me at the hospital, that is.”
“Oh, my God. Is he there now?”
“No. We’re at my house. He brought Katie and me home a while ago. She’s taking a nap, so now we’re . . . talking.”
“Uh, huh,” Eve says, and I can practically hear the wheels of her mind turning. “You and Jared. At your house. Talking.”
