And damn it, he was right. The bed spun beneath him from just that small movement. The room wobbled in front of his face like a funhouse mirror.
“That female of yours packs a hell of a punch. Unfortunately, I speak from experience.”
Rafe leaned into the agony, pushing himself up to a sitting position. His limbs felt like jelly, far from functional. “How long does it last?”
Nathan grunted. “It took about three hours before I could feel my feet under me again. Jordana recovered more quickly, so apparently the bigger the target, the harder we fall. She’s not pissed at you, but part of me still wants to kill you for having a role in putting my mate through that.”
“I’m sorry,” Rafe said. “And I know Devony’s sorry too. She didn’t want to hurt either of you.”
“She did it to protect you.”
Rafe nodded, a movement that made his skull throb.
He would have done the same thing for her if he was able. He’d still do anything to protect her. And yet, he’d deceived her and broken her heart instead.
He had hurt her worse than anyone else possibly could. He’d felt that in the moments before she’d leveled him with her incredible power.
“She loves you,” Nathan said. “I saw it in her face that night at the museum.”
“Now she hates me.”
“You really believe that?”
He shrugged. Carefully shook his pounding head. Even though she was gone, he could feel her through their bond.
She didn’t hate him. He could still feel her love, and that gave him some small glimmer of hope that he could fix this.
But right now, her hurt was stronger than anything else she was feeling.
If she couldn’t forgive him, he might lose her forever.
“I have to go.” He swung his deadweight legs over the side of the infirmary cot. “I have to find her and bring her back.”
A deep, sardonic voice answered from the open doorway. “Then you’re going to need wings.”
Rafe glanced around Nathan and watched Aric Chase stroll into the open room. He paused next to the bed and exhaled a snort. “You look like shit.”
Rafe chuckled, and fuck, that hurt. Only his best friend could pull a smile out of him when his body was a feeble lump and his heart was shredded in his chest. “Good to see you too. What do you know about Devony? Where is she?”
“On her way to London, evidently. Gideon just sent word that she popped up on a commercial flight to Heathrow this morning. She should be on the ground there in about five hours.”
London.She was going home, even though she hadn’t wanted to go back there ever again after losing her family.
“I need to be there too. I need to make her listen to me.” Rafe tried to get up, but dropped right back down onto the bed. “Damn it.”
Aric gave him an assessing look. “This female really did a number on you, eh?”
He wasn’t talking about the fact that she had knocked him on his ass today. And Rafe wasn’t going to pretend with either one of his closest friends that he wasn’t out of his head with misery over the fact that he had lost Devony’s faith today.
That he might have lost it for good.
“We’re bonded. I took her blood. Fuck, I took a hell of a lot more than that from her.” He met the sober stares of both Breed males. “Then, last night after we arrived here, I let her drink from me too. I love her, and now she thinks I played her as an asset for my mission. She thinks I used her for intel. Shit. She thinks I chose the Order over her.”
“Didn’t you?” Nathan’s logic, as usual, cut as cleanly and as coldly as a knife.
Rafe wanted to rage at his friend, but even his anger failed him.
Because what the former assassin said was true. He had chosen the Order over her.
