“That they throw away people based on their birth order isn’t my problem.” But my mate is reluctant. “Are you sure about this?”
“No…but not because of you.” He pauses. “I am wary of being used and abandoned.” He winces on the last word as if not wanting to admit it. “I think that is the right word for it.”
“Your tribe pushed you out twice. I am not surprised you fear being abandoned again. There’s nothing I can say that will change that or fix it. I can promise you will always be mine, but in the end, you need to trust me.”
He sighs. “If they do not believe our story, what I feel doesn’t matter.”
Like I don’t realize how fragile everything is. “Thank you for raising the specter of failure.”
“I’m being realistic. I want a mate and fear it in the same breath. I want a home and all of that, but…” he lifts his hands. “That was never meant to be part of my life, and I am under-prepared. I never had the lessons my brothers received.”
“Lessons?”
He stares at the dirt. It’s easy to forget that he is a few years younger than I am. He has struggled and survived and taken chances I can’t even dream of. And I’m offering to be his mate, as if I have anything to give him besides some temporary protection while we attempt to rescue our people.
“I never learned how to be with a woman. I have only been with other banished, and even then, I never formed an attachment with anyone like Orik and Vari.”
“Oh.” I see where he’s going. “Well, I know what I like, and it’s fun to learn with someone.” I smile as if it’s not a problem.It’s not as though he’s a virgin, and I’m sure his brothers must have said something about what it’s like being with a woman.
“We don’t have a couple of days for that, and matings are ended for failing to ensure a woman’s pleasure.”
“Wouldn’t that mean the man is already in rut?”
“Yes.” The word is harsh, and he doesn’t need to say more. The ones who fail are left to suffer.
I can name a few guys who should never be allowed near a woman again for failing to give me any kind of pleasure. That Hrad is concerned, is endearing. He wants to do it right, even though it’s part of a plan. “How about I make sure I enjoy it this time and we call it your first lesson and then when we are home…” I hope we make it home. “I can give you much more detailed lessons, and you can do the same for me, and we can figure this out together. We make a good team, yeah?”
“Yes.” But I can hear his reservations.
I want to take away those doubts, but I don’t know how. Maybe if I experienced a physical change and connection that might kill me, I’d harbor more doubts about mating too.
My main concern is what the man who is supposed to father my children will say. Though given the way he hasn’t bothered to approach me, I shouldn’t care. I’m not sure what my parents will think about my mating with a Honey warrior, though if I die, they will be devastated.
“It’s up to you whether we tell people the truth or if we tell them it was for love…and maybe love will follow?” Do his people fall in love the way humans do, or is that part of the bond?
“Maybe.” He glances up at the sky. “If we are going to do this and secure the ship…we could fly the ship into the settlement, then we don’t need to walk.”
“That’s quite an entrance.” If an alien ship landed in our colony, people would lose their shit. Security would aim theirweapons at it before it touched the ground. I expect the same welcome from the Honey.
He makes that noise of agreement. “And a much faster exit.”
“I don’t want every warrior in the area directing their charge at the ship. They might fry the ship’s circuits.”
“The downside of human technology.” His lips curve as if enjoying that we have a weakness. “Perhaps we shouldn’t land in the middle of the settlement. We could set down near the bridge, so we can watch the area via the camera, and if Charlie’s team is still out there; they will see it.”
I want to believe they are out there, but they haven’t communicated since yesterday. “The bridge is a good idea.”
It also means we put the river at our backs and can’t be surrounded. I don’t need to glance at the sky to know we need to put the plan into action. A thread of nervous excitement runs through my blood. It’s not quite lust, but with a little heat it could easily turn.
I place the tablet in my bag and hold out my hands. My heartbeat quickens. “So, mate.” I swallow as nerves tighten my throat. “Um…how do we do this?”
14
HRAD
Ihave no idea how to dothis. I understand the mechanics, but if I learned little about Honey women, I know less about human women. I should be excited, but my stomach is forming knots.
What if this is the wrong thing to do?
