Alisha bumps my leg and points at the tablet. The feed from the camera watching the bridge is on the screen. She gives me a thumbs up, but I’m not paying attention to the images on the screen. I like the way the soft light catches the curve of her cheek, and makes her eyes glint.
Having a mate might be a start.
But that means trusting a human woman and going through the rut…and I have found no one that made me consider taking the risk. I am not interested in human women who throw themselves at me, seeking to benefit only themselves. They do not care about me.
No one except my brothers has ever cared. Not my family, not my tribe.
You look like you’re thinking way too hard.She smiles at me.
I’m wondering if I can hunt and light a fire or if it’s too risky.I already know the answer, but I don’t want to admit to considering her as a potential mate. Not that I was really thinking that, even though she has some of the qualities I admire in a mate. Alisha is adventurous and brave. She’s a leader who listens to her team. She doesn’t look at me with disgust or lust.While some people want to be adored, I want someone I can work with. Someone I trust. Trust is far more valuable than desire.
Perhaps that is my lack of experience of living in a proper tribe showing. But living in a tiny tribe of banished warriors meant trust was everything.
No tent, no fire.
I was just dreaming because sludge is so awful.
Alisha takes a drink.Don’t tempt me, because some fresh roasted something sounds amazing.She finishes her sludge with a dramatic slurp.Have you seen the vats where it’s made?
Unfortunately. But it is not that much different from eating moss or what you call worms. It is fine and it will keep you alive, but there are more interesting things to eat.
There’s always something more interesting to eat than sludge.
Do you fancy that dirty sock water?
She puts her hand over her mouth to smother her laugh.Tempting…
She is tempting me. My pulse quickens not out of fear of being caught, but from the way she looks at me. My body has decided that now is the time to be interested in mating. Perhaps it is only because I have spent so much time so close to her that her scent has snuck beneath my skin and into my blood. My meq hardens and presses against my pants, which are not as loose and forgiving as the ones I usually wear. I hope she does not notice and that the shadows are dark enough because I do not want to ruin what has formed. It has been easy working with her today, talking to her and laughing with her. It’s the kind of camaraderie I have with my brothers. That I never thought I’d find with humans.
Her gaze lingers on me, which does nothing to cool my blood. This is awkward and unwanted. She has not expressed interestin me in that way. And I thought I did not want a mate…or perhaps I only want someone like Alisha as a mate.
Her laughter stops, but her gaze remains fixed on me.We should sleep.
I will take the first watch.And deal with my meq. At least it is distracting me from the pulsing in my skull.
No, you have been using your kam all day, and I can see the tension in your eyes. Rest. I’ll wake you before I fall asleep.
The only tension she can see is because I don’t want her to notice the reaction I’m having to her. It’s biology, nothing more. But it means there is a part of my body that wants her despite the risks of the rut. Or maybe it wants the rut. What my meq wants and what my mind wants are two different things.
But I need to sleep. If only for a bit. How well will I sleep knowing that she won’t sense anyone until they are on top of us?
My temples throb, and my meq joins in. How well will I sleep with these uncomfortable pants rubbing against the hard length of my shaft?
I consider arguing that she should go first, but we are more likely to be caught in the pre-dawn hours than now. I nod and move away to pull out the blanket and wrap it around myself. For several breaths, I lie on the dirt, sheltered by the trees, and it feels no different from all the times I’ve done it before.
Except this time it is not one of my brothers I want next to me, it’s Alisha. I close my eyes, determined to ignore the rough heat in my blood and the fears it leads to. We are here to do a job, nothing more.
And if she was interested, she would’ve said something…and I would’ve said no because I didn’t know her. Now I do, and I’m not sure what I’d say.
11
ALISHA
Iwake Hrad, and he lets me take over his warm blanket. After being up for hours, I’m grateful for the heat. My eyes want to close, but I watch as he stretches and disappears into the shadows. I try to keep my eyes open until he gets back but fail. The next thing I know, he’s shaking me awake. I open my mouth, and his fingers press against my lips.
It’s not morning, but the shadows are soft and I can see more than his solid shape.
He taps his ear, and I turn on the comms device that I’d switched off while I stole not nearly enough sleep. For a moment, there’s static in my ear, which is odd.
