“I mind…I do not want to hurt you anymore.” Vari places his hand on Orik’s thigh and there is a look that passes between them that I want to be a part of.
“I want someone to look at me that way.” The words are a whisper, but Vari hears.
“You are my mate.”
I shake my head. “It’s not the same. And I know this was a mating of convenience, but I want it to be more.”
I sound like Mia, expecting to find love in the colony and then with aliens. Love is a luxury. I have a mate who will protect me, and his ex is someone I trust with my life. It’s a mess. Orik puts down his spinning and stands. He walks over to me, pulls me close with one hand and cups the back of my head with the other and kisses me as though he’s going to die if he doesn’t.
I wanted to do that before we reached the others, but I knew Vari would leave me, and I didn’t want that either. I wasn’t worthy of having a mate if I wasn’t ready to take the chance.
I can’t form a coherent thought; breathing is hard enough as I sink into the kiss and drown. His desire consumes me.
I draw back enough to breathe, and there it is, the heat in his eyes that I wanted to bask in. How did I miss it?
Vari snarls and I turn to stand between them. His markings are bright, and his fingers spread as if he’s going to attack.
“Don’t you dare.”
“I don’t even know who I want to fight, you or him.” Vari’s gaze flicks between us.
“Perhaps you should try fucking instead,” Orik says.He will not harm us, but he needs to fuck because of the rut.
“I don’t want you both in rut at the same time.” I don’t want to exclude Vari from my thoughts, even though Orik is communicating directly with me.
You are assuming that Vari allows me to join you.
I glance up at him. “I get to choose.”
Orik gives a small shake of his head. “You are a mated couple; you both have to agree to take on another.”
“And how does that work?” Vari is bright, but his fingers are now pointed to the ground. “I can’t be in the middle.”
“I don’t know. I never got to be a part of those discussions. They are for mated people only.” He sighs. “Does it matter? We are here, not there.” His lips brush my ear. “And Bridget is right. We deserve to be happy.” He reaches past me, fingers pointing at the ground, offering his hand to Vari. “I was happy with you. Now we can have more. We can have a mate as well.”
If I’d chosen Orik instead of Vari, Vari would have never come near us. He wouldn’t have listened. But because I chose him, he has to listen. Did Orik play us both?
His smiles and chatter hide the sharp mind of a man who knows what he wants and gambled everything on getting it. Though I have no doubt that he’d have been much happier if Vari hadn’t left him and messed up his plans.
Shhh, don’t give away all my secrets. The others all think I’m too young to be series, and too needy to sleep alone. The last part might be true.His hand caresses my arm and Vari’s gaze tracks the movement.
You hoped that Vari would want me?
Would want us both. I didn’t expect it to be easy, but it was harder than I thought it would be. I didn’t think he’d leave my blankets.
Vari steps toward us, and I can feel the crackle of energy around him.
I hold my breath and I’m sure Orik is doing the same, but he doesn’t release me. He holds me close. Close enough that the hard length of his meq presses against my lower back.
Vari stops right in front of us. “What do we tell the others? They already noticed something this morning because you shared his blanket.”
“It was cold, and you were using ours.” I hold his gaze. “What does it matter what they say?” I listen to the words fall off my tongue. In the colony, I would’ve never said such a thing.
I understand now why they didn’t want us back. We had seen something that no one else could understand. We might bring new ideas and upset the balance. Already they are trying to stamp out what they call the dissenters, those who think we should move beyond the rules made on Earth and adapt them to something that works for us on this world. We are so far from the planet my parents were born on, why do we hold their values? Why follow their plans when they are more disruptive than helpful, especially when it comes to people and their relationships?
“They are our tribe. They could vote to kick us out.”
“And who would do that?” Orik asks. “Not Edilk or Sunif. I doubt Hrad would. Yva might out of jealousy. Although he might hope that Mia or Sabine will want more than one.”
