“Because you want us both?”
He opens his eyes and his markings flare brightly. For a heartbeat, I half expect him to carry me up to the shelter and fuck me. “Yes. And I shouldn’t.”
“Why not?”
He presses his lips together and shakes his head. “You are my mate, and my focus should be on you and only you.”
“I’m not used to that much attention…or sex.” I give him a pointed look. Yeah, it was good, but I’m not sure if I can do that every night even though I know it’s only for a few days as the rut binds them to their mate. Do their women also have changes and experience some kind of mating bond?
He draws in a breath and the worry is clear on his face. “Did I do something wrong?”
“No. But you’re big and…” I don’t know what else to say. “I’m sure I’ll get used to it.”
He sits silently as Orik and Edilk return with the vegetable they like to cook up for breakfast. It doesn’t take long to cook and turn into the porridge-like thing that they add nuts and fruit to.
I have no doubt they were talking. Edilk stops when he sees Vari and I sharing Orik’s blanket. Orik doesn’t need his marking to light up to glow. His smile radiates happiness. If he thinks Vari has changed his stance, he’ll be very disappointed.
However, this morning Vari didn’t argue or deny that he has feeling for Orik, which is progress. While I hated it if I dated a guy who was also seeing another woman in the colony, this is different, and not because I want both of them. Though I have wondered what it might be like, after last night I doubt I’d be able to handle two aliens in rut. I can barely handle one.
Edilk and Orik put breakfast in the pot over the fire.
Sabine returns with her hair freshly braided. She touches Edilk’s hand. To talk with him, or because she wants to touch him? When she looks at him, there’s something in her eyes. I think she might love him. Mia definitely loves Sunif. That he broke the rules and chose her was all it took.
I played it safe and chose Vari, or at least that’s what I thought I was doing. Now I’m not so sure.
Orik sits next to Vari, but not close enough to touch him. “Enjoying my blanket? I think it is big enough for three.”
I bite back on the groan.
Vari sighs. “You are always cold. Do you want to sit between us?”
Orik pauses and glances at me before looking back at Vari. “No. I want to sit next to you.”
I ease my grip on the blanket. “There’s enough room for him.”
Vari holds my gaze and lowers his voice. “He’s not talking about the blanket, mate.”
I hold his stare. “I’m aware, mate.”
“When Hrad and Yva return, we will have a meeting,” Edilk says, speaking aloud for my benefit. “I’m going to get Sunif and Mia.”
Sabine’s gaze tracks the three of us. “It’s not that cold. Why don’t you put the blanket away?”
Vari stands and folds it up. He hands it to Orik and there are silent words spoken between them.
Orik inclines his head and turns to me. “Would it be okay if I put my things by your fire today, since I will be helping you with the rope for clothing?”
“Go for it.”
Vari watches Orik as he walks toward the shelter. He must feel my gaze on him because he glances at me and then studies the ground as if caught out.
19
VARI
My skin smells of Bridget and Orik. My meq is hard and has been since the moment I woke up. I had hoped to wake next to her and claim her again. My body craves her. Yet when Orik sat next to me, I wanted to wrap my other arm around him and pull him close.
I want them both, and they seem in agreement. So why am I hesitating?
