Now I understand why Orik said Vari was the one I needed to choose. Orik saw the similarity and worked out why we got on so well. It’s not Vari who needs two mates, it’s Orik and me, so that we don’t have to be alone. I don’t need to be wanted or loved like Mia, but I want to be part of something and for my contribution to matter.
I need to be valued.
Vari’s sigh confirms that he has heard my thoughts as if they are his own. “I will think about it. And tomorrow there will be talks.”
I nod.
“Thank you for considering his feelings.”
“But not yours.” But then he didn’t say that he didn’t want me the way Hrad did. I respect the way he was strong enough to say no because he’s unsure. So I need to respect Vari’s desire to think about what’s best. If I have two mates, will the others then look at Sabine and Mia with hope?
“Or yours. You did what you thought best to keep the tribe from fracturing due to fighting.” His thumb smooths over my thigh and I relax into his arms.
The longer we sit there in silence, the more my body becomes aware of his. The warmth of him surrounding me and the hard length of him pressing against my hip.
“Tell me about the rut.”
“It’s the bond that forms between mated couples. Though from what I understand, humans do not have it.”
“We don’t.” Humans fall in love and out of it. The rut is rather more permanent. “Does it hurt when it happens?”
“Only if we are separated from our mate. The changes are…” He shares what he knows, from the changes to his meq to pleasure his mate, to becoming stronger, to better protect her. “The intense part passes in a few days…and then is done after a month.”
So much has changed in a few days that I can’t imagine what things will look like in a month.
“We should probably…” I glance over my shoulder at the shelter. “Take our boots off.”
I don’t know if I’m going to go through with it tonight. My heart is beating too fast. If I sleep with him, have sex with him, we’re pretty much married.
I take my boots off, and he does the same.
This would be weird no matter who I chose. At least I had a choice, no matter how limited, in the colony it was all decided for me and there was no chance of having a partner who’d be with me for life.
Yes, Vari is an alien, but he is not ugly. His features are strong, softened by the curve of his lips and large eyes. There is something about him that is alluring. Or perhaps it is the way we are so close, and that he is mine.
I chose him.
And he accepted, even though he didn’t have to.
We both agreed to this mating of convenience. I turn around, kneeling between his legs and cup his cheek, aware of the heat of his skin as well as the softness. He turns his head, and his lips brush my inner wrist. I lean in, and his lips brush mine, taking the offer.
He moves slowly, lips and tongue teasing, and I return in kind. My heartbeat quickens in anticipation. It’s been a long time and sex has been on my mind since Sabine took Edilk as her mate. Though a few days ago I wasn’t sure what I was going to do, or if I even wanted an alien mate.
“I can sense your worry.” His hand traces down my spine. “I have never shared a blanket with a woman of any tribe.”
I swallow. Maybe not, but he knows how to kiss. “Do you want to…um…mate tonight, or do you want to wait a little?”
He sighs and his nose wrinkles. “It does not look good to not mate after choosing. There will be questions and others might challenge. It gives the woman a chance to change her mind, as there is usually a reason there was no mating.”
“So Yva could challenge you?”
“And he’d probably win. Orik was lucky, as Yva is very good.”
“And doesn’t he know it?” I mutter.
Vari laughs. “Yes. He has the skills to back up his pride. He expected you to choose him.”
I press my lips together as though reconsidering the idea. “He did make me a beautiful crochet hook.”
