I nod. We need to talk.
About everything.
Edilk pulls a stick out of the fire and holds it out toward Vari. “Go, I will sort the rest of this out.”
Sabine gives me a hug and whispers in my ear, “it will be good. Don’t worry.”
That’s easy for her. She wanted Edilk. She wanted out of the colony, and I am making the best of what I have been handed.
The same as Vari.
Or any of these guys.
We are all banished.
I let Vari lead me toward the shelter where I spent last night. The blanket I slept in is still there. And while the fire was allowed to go out during the day, it doesn’t take Vari long to relight it and build it up.
He glances at me. “I’m going to gather my things.”
“Okay,” I say, even though he doesn’t understand me.
He walks back to the main fire, and I sit in the entrance of the shelter, waiting for him to return. I close my eyes and blow out a breath, more nervous than when I slept with a human man for the first time.
I don’t have to sleep with him tonight.
But then everyone will know because he won’t be glowing with the rut. Will they judge him and me for that?
“You seem more worried than excited,” Vari says as he places his things next to me. He drops down to sit next to me and taps his ear. Someone gave him the whisperer.
I wrap my arms around my knees. There is no point in lying. “I’m worried about a lot of things.”
“So why choose me, if it causes you such concern?” He is sitting with his legs crossed, wrists draped over his knees as if completely relaxed.
I keep my gaze on the golden flames. “I chose you because two others said you’d make the best mate. Because you have shown that you can care for another.”
“Why didn’t you choose Orik?”
“Because he loves you.” I glance at him, his eyes as bright as the fire. “And wants both of us or no one.” Orik was at least honest about that. “I know this isn’t what you wanted.”
“I wanted a mate. Though I never believed it would be on the path the stars lit for me. When I found Orik, I thought that was more than enough for a fourth son. I won’t lie and say that losing the attachment doesn’t hurt—”
“You can still have him. His tribe—"
“That is not my tribe’s way.” His words are sharp.
“And you aren’t part of that tribe anymore.” We are making something different.
“I can go back now.”
I shake my head. “I don’t want to be separated from Sabine and Mia. That’s one of the things we all need to talk about.”
His mouth opens, but he doesn’t speak for several seconds. “We get a mate, and we can go home.”
“Is that what you want? To return to a place that cast you out? And won’t allow you to have a mate and an attachment?” I use his word.
He laughs and shakes his head. “Even in Orik’s tribe, it is the woman who takes two mates, not one of the males.”
“Maybe we could all have each other.” I have no idea how it would work. Some of the colony men had more than one girlfriend, but they never seemed co-operative. “We can make the rules out here.”
