“Do you want a hug?” She lifts her arms and if she was able to make a charge, I’d be worried.
“That would not be right.” The others are too close, and they will be watching.
She lowers her arms. “Oh.”
I draw in a breath, and try to sound happier than I feel, which only makes me realize how much I ache. “You have gotten to know the others? Whatever you said to Yva upset him.”
She groans.
And I can’t hold back the small laugh. She makes me laugh, and I like making her laugh. It’s not the same as wanting a mate, though. Or is it? We could make a good life.
“I asked the others some questions to help me decide, so I’ll ask you now even though I don’t need extra time to get to know you.”
“And I’ll try to answer them.” Now I’m curious what she could’ve asked them that annoyed Yva so much. What is she asking that impacts her choice?
“Who will make the best mate?”
“Vari.” I don’t need to think about that one.
“Because?”
“Because he will put his mate first, not because it’s expected, but because that’s his way.” I swallow down the too sharp hurt, but that doesn’t stop my eyes from prickling.
“And who will make the worst mate?”
I don’t need to think about that either. “Me. Because I now understand what you mean when you talk about love.” I use her word because there are no Honey words that mean the same. While I desire her, it’s not the same and I see that now. “I’m in love with Vari.”
13
BRIDGET
Irock back, not sure what to say or do, only that I hadn’t been expecting Orik to say that. After spending the afternoon with Yva, I was hoping to talk with Orik. He knows these guys, and I never got the ‘hungry for a mate’ vibe from him. He is the safe choice. He will be enough, and we can be friends, and it might grow to become love. Until he said it, I didn’t realize that’s what I was searching for. I was hoping I’d feel the same way about one of the warriors that Mia and Sabine do about theirs.
Which leaves me with a Vari sized problem.
“I’m sorry.” That is a pathetic response. I shouldn’t even be considering Vari, even though he clearly wants me to. “Will he go back to you if I don’t choose either of you?”
Orik closes his eyes and shakes his head. “Even if he does, it won’t be the same. And I won’t be able to tell him how I feel because the Honey do not have the word for it.”
“Then you use my words.”
He shakes his head. “That is not our way. But I would like to learn more of your words. And I do like being your friend.”
“Not my mate, though.” A part of me wants to choose him, even though others have warned me he is too young and with a temper that can flare too hot. Is that why he stayed away today, because he was hurting too deeply and didn’t trust himself?
He looks away. “Choose Vari. I would rather see you both happy.”
I hug him, even though he said it was not appropriate. “What if I want both of you? You can be my second mate and still have him.”
He stands rigidly in my arms for several heartbeats before his hand settles on my back. “He does not want to share a mate, and I don’t want to hunger for I can’t have.”
I bite my lower lip.
“Then I will choose him, and I will convince him that it is the right thing to do.”
“It is not the right thing when only two out of the three want it.” He kisses my cheek. “But I appreciate the thought.”
I will make sure that it is more than a thought. I don’t want to lose Orik and he doesn’t want to lose Vari. And what does Vari want? “Does Vari even want a mate?”
