Ican barely think, my bones have melted, and I know I will never find another man like Daire. I shouldn’t have let him get this far, but when he’s around, I’m drawn to him. I don’t want to be his one and be whisked off to faery. I have come to terms with being human and living here and have filled my life with as much magic as possible.
But with him in my arms, I want it all. The old hunger wells up and I know if he asked now, I’d ditch everything to see faery and be with him. I don’t even know him, and I’ve made this mistake before.
I exhale slowly and unwrap my legs from around his hips. I want to ask him to stay, but if he stays one night, it will lead to two and I will not fall for another fae rider. “They’ll wonder where you are.”
And I don’t want them thinking I’ll let just any sad rider into my bed.
“Let them.” He kisses me and I almost relent.
I turn my head away. “It was just once, Daire. That’s all it can be.”
His head drops. “Why?”
I can’t think of a single good reason, so I use the worn excuse. “Because I’ve done this dance before and I know how it ends.”
He stares at me. “I’m not Shay.”
“I know, but I’m not the naïve Lindsay you met back then.” Maybe things would’ve been different if he’d been the one to ask, but then I wouldn’t have Danni or the café and I like my life. Most of the time. “I have responsibilities. A daughter.”
“Who will go to faery soon enough.”
I bite my lip and push him off. I don’t want to think about what I’ll do when Danni leaves. “Go. Party with your friends. Be gone by the time I go down to open up.”
“Lindsay…” He reaches for me and I pull away.
This was a bad idea. I thought I’d be able to get him out of my system, but all it did was thrust him deeper beneath my skin.
“I will take—”
“No.” I glare at him. He’s young and perfect and I am forty. Too old to fall for this shit, and yet here I am, tripping and stumbling into bed with him. I blink to stop the tears from forming. “We don’t know each other; it would never work.”
“I know enough.” But he’s pulling on his jeans and boots. “I want more than one night.”
So do I, but I know better than anyone that falling for a rider only brings trouble. I won’t invite it to linger in my bedroom again.
“Well, I don’t.” The lie is sour on my tongue, but it’s enough that he leaves.
It’s only after the door closes and I’m alone that I let a sob escape. I cover my mouth. What have I done?
* * *
Iwake gritty from lack of sleep and cold. My heart is sore, and I wish that I was waking up with his arms around me. We could’ve figured something out…maybe. But I’m not so easily dazzled by the promises of the fae anymore.
Within me, anger burns. Shay spun his half-truths around me to keep me from Daire. Even now those lies still trap me. I didn’t lie to him, I do have a life here, and Danni. I can’t up and leave. Can I?
I shower, aware of the aches in my body. It’s been a while since I was with a man, and I can’t help but relive some of what happened. Even the memory warms my blood. My hand slides between my legs. It doesn’t take much for me to come, but it doesn’t relieve the tension in my blood if anything, it fuels it. Why did Daire never warn me? Why didn’t he say something years ago?
Why wait until Shay was dead?
I dry and dress. And by the time I get downstairs most of the riders are up and, as Daire said, they are cleaning up. Gathering the trash and wiping down the tables that I had abandoned.
I get the coffee machine going, needing a cup myself. Then I slice up banana bread and get it toasting, knowing that they will cover it with butter and honey before leaving payment where they know I’ll find it, but without me asking.
I never ask where they get the money. It could be stolen, or maybe someone bought shares back in the day and made a fortune. I know that there are fae owned houses, so nothing would surprise me.
“You slipped away last night.” Liam reaches for the first cup of coffee I pour.
I’m tempted to slap his hand away, but from the way his smile is crooked, I suspect he needs it more than me.
