Was that enough?
I close my eyes and concentrate on my breathing, but I’m aware of Eskar. The cool of his skin and his breath on my neck. I can’t bear to let him go. Yet every moment I waste, he is getting weaker.
Chapter 16
I waitfor the water king to finish speaking to Harding, then I kiss Eskar on the cheek. “I’ll be back.”
Reluctantly he releases me, and I get up.
Harding is grim. “So there’s a whole other clan of them.”
“Yeah, and the other elements too.” We’d been claimed by water because of where we’d crashed. Did that make us lucky? I don’t know. “What did he tell you?”
“Same old lines. A hundred days before we can join them.” Harding lifts his chin at the ones guarding the clearing. “I get the feeling they don’t want us mixing with the Paohl.”
“Because we know too much?”
A ghost of a smile flickers over his face. “Maybe. You accepted?”
“Not yet, I wanted to discuss with you. We still have to survive.”
“Yeah, but at least we know what’s at the other end. What are you going to do about Eskar?”
“He has to decide if he wants to live or die.” I can’t help the hitch in my voice. I’d like to keep blaming the drug from the mating barbs, but that’s not entirely true. I don’t want to tell him to live so we can be together, only to find that we don’t work as a couple and then what happens to him? He goes off on his own to let the poison slow his heart?
“Yeah, I don’t think he wants to die. When he looks at you his eyes light up like he sees hope and a chance. But he said it’s your choice.”
I shake my head. I don’t want that responsibility.
The water king steps out of the wrecked ship after talking to Wraight but doesn’t stop to talk to Harding and me. He returns to Eskar’s side and squats next to him. They talk, and I can see Eskar’s guard slipping. One hand covers his bandage like the wound is hurting. He is afraid and in pain, but when he looks over to me, I see a flicker of something more. I smile, wanting to see his lips curve. But they don’t. His attention returns to the king and whatever he is saying. Eskar’s tail droops.
“I think all I can do is try to survive.” That is the only choice I can make. If Eskar wants more, he has to decide to live. I need to give him the choice. Something he’s never had.
“That’s my conclusion too. I’ll worry about the rest later. At least we can stay here.”
“True. I should check on Wraight.” I go to brush past.
Harding puts a hand on my arm. “Wraight is fine. Nothing is ripped. You can check him and stitch him after we’ve had some breakfast…which we have to find first. Your mate needs you more.”
“He’s not my mate.” Not yet, anyway.
Harding grins. “Could you at least be happy about finding yourself a nice big alien man?”
I manage a smile. “I’m sure there’s one for you in the king’s court.”
He snorts. “Yeah. I hope so.”
As I make my way over, the king stands and steps back. Eskar tries to pull his calm mask up but fails. There is a worried pinch to his lips and fear in his eyes. Like now he’s staring at death and has been offered a lifeline he’s changed his mind.
I kneel at his side and take his free hand in both of mine. Blood stains his other hand where the bandage no longer holds it back. He’s running out of time as I watch.
“I’m not giving up.” I glance at the waiting king. “I will do everything I can do to survive. And whatever comes after, I’ll figure out.” I look at Eskar and lick my lip. “But I want you to know you have a choice. I know the Paohl say it’s all mine, but it’s not. If you are done, I’ll let you go. But if you want to take the next step in this messed up world with me, then I would like that. I have no idea what it will look like, or what it will mean.”
Eskar’s grip on my hand tightens. “Neither does he.” He nods at the king. “But wounds heal when not in flesh.”
That is good to know. “And the toxin?”
“We don’t know. Maybe if I’d stayed as water it wouldn’t have affected me. As a wisp, I’ll be immune too. When you change, we won’t be trapped in this area either. We’ll be free to roam the planet.”
