“I’m sorry,” he said. “I’m sitting here making this all about me when it’s your brother we’re talking about. I know asking you to talk about what happened is difficult for you.”
“No harder than it is every other day of my life,” she said. “After Gideon committed suicide, I spent years blaming myself for his death, thinking if I’d only done more, he’d still be alive.”
“You can’t take responsibility for your brother’s decisions,” Carter said, leaning forward on the couch, so close that for a moment, she thought he might reach out to take her hand.
She wouldn’t have minded if he did.
“I can look back now and see that blaming myself was stupid,” she said, taking a deep breath to clear her head. “But at the time, I was still a teenager and didn’t have the tools to process the grief I was going through. Working through all that guilt and trying to come to grips with why my brother would do something like that, is the reason I became a psychiatrist in the first place. I needed to understand his actions, and psychiatry was the only way I could come close to doing that.”
“And now you have another omega who needs your help,” Carter said softly, once again reaching out like he wanted to grasp her hand, only to drop his own into his lap and paste a carefully composed expression on his face like he didn’t want her to realize what he’d been about to do.
“You’re an omega,” she agreed. “But you’re not in the same situation my brother was. Your control is much better. Outside of what happened at the auto plant three weeks ago, you haven’t slipped. At least not enough to lose time.”
Carter grimaced. “Actually, something happened on my morning run.”
Hadley listened in shock as he told her about the assault and kidnapping he’d stumbled upon while jogging. By the time he got to the part about the guys with the kid and how they’d tried to run him over, she had to resist the urge to stand up and pace the room. It got even worse when he told her that he’d blacked out and lost time again.
“How bad was it when you finally came back out?” she asked, fearing the worst and praying that Carter hadn’t killed anyone else.
“Not as bad as it could have been,” he said. “When I came to, I was flat on my back with a knife stuck in my chest and the truck practically sitting on top of another vehicle, but the baby was unharmed and both men were alive. I can’t remember not killing them, but hey, I’ll take what I can get.”
Hadley was both thrilled and horrified in equal parts. While she was glad that Carter hadn’t killed anyone, she was terrified that he’d been stabbed in the chest. The fact that he mentioned it like it wasn’t a big deal only made it that much worse. How many times must a man be stabbed to be so blasé about it?
“Hey, you got through an omega blackout without killing anyone,” she said firmly, forcing herself to forget about the knife and focus on the positive. “You should take that as a win. It either means your suppressed consciousness is capable of exerting more control than you thought, or your inner omega isn’t as out of control as you feared.”
“You have no idea how much I want one or both of those things to be true,” he said softly, his expression telling her how close he was to breaking at any moment.
“Given what I saw my brother go through, I’d like to think I have a pretty good idea what’s going on in your head. But even if I didn’t, that’s what these sessions are about—getting everything out of your head and into the open where we can deal with it. You just have to be willing to put it all out there.” She leaned forward in her chair. “You do that and I promise we’ll get through this—together.”
The look of gratitude Carter gave her was enough to almost take her breath away. That’s when she abruptly realized he would be her ruin. There was something about him that had her ready to throw everything away—to forget all the ethics of her profession, to break any rule—to help him.
“I’m really glad I ended up in your office,” he said, his gaze holding hers. “It terrifies me to think how close I came to skipping out on the whole therapy thing.”
“Don’t get me wrong. I don’t believe in fate, destiny, or anything remotely like that,” Hadley said, finding herself leaning a little closer to him than she probably should have. “But something tells me we were supposed to end up together—a werewolf in need of help and a psychiatrist who refuses to let another omega lose himself. I can’t explain it, but I’m willing to put myself out there if you are.”
Carter regarded her for a long moment with those beautiful blue eyes of his and then nodded. “Deal.”
Deciding that they’d accomplished as much in one morning as could be expected, Hadley ended the session a few minutes early, moving over to her desk to jot down a few notes and check her calendar to make sure she didn’t have any more appointments for the day. Then again, maybe something had come in and she could beg off the drive back down to Coffield. Unfortunately, there was nothing on her schedule to save her from that interview with Strickland.
Carter pulled out his phone while she searched her online calendar, apparently scrolling through the messages that had come in while they’d been talking. She could tell when he must have reached something that concerned him, because he stopped, his brow furrowed.
“Everything okay?” she asked, not wanting to pry into anything personal, but also wanting him to know he could talk to her if he needed to.
“I guess,” Carter muttered. “I mean…yeah…everything’s fine. There was a big call-out for the team early this morning against some dangerous people. I just got a text from one of my pack mates letting me know that they’re all safe. He also asked me to meet him for lunch saying something’s come up that he could use my help with. He thinks it might be a good distraction for me.”
“You could probably use a distraction after the morning you’ve had,” she said. “Are you worried it might be something you’re not ready for?”
“No,” he said firmly, then shrugged. “Well…maybe a little.” He thought a moment. “Care to come with me? You could meet some other werewolves, have lunch, and then let me know if you think whatever they’re planning might be too much for me.”
Hadley hesitated. There was no way to gloss over how bad of an idea it would be to have lunch with a patient. But she’d agreed to help him…no matter what. Plus, a chance to meet other werewolves wasn’t something she was willing to pass up. Besides, it was just lunch.
“I could eat something. And I wouldn’t mind meeting your pack mates,” she said, even as the rational side of her mind prayed this didn’t turn out to be a mistake. “But I have to be down at Coffield Unit by three this afternoon.”
Hadley could tell that Carter was curious about why she had to go to the maximum-security prison. But rather than ask, he motioned toward the door with a smile. “Then let’s go to lunch.”
CHAPTER FIVE
“You two are the first ones here, but the table outside is all ready for you,” the hostess said as she led Carter and Hadley to the covered patio behind the restaurant.
