How can I fix this?
Can I even fix this?
“Kali,” he begins at the same time I hesitantly whisper, “Grayson.”
We both go quiet, staring at one another. I let out a soft, feeble laugh, hoping it will make him smile at least a little bit, but there isn’t much amusement in his handsome features.
“What was that about back there?” he asks quietly, jerking his chin toward Franco’s. There’s a grimness to his voice that sets my teeth on edge. “It was like those girls spotted a celebrity. Have you done makeup for a Hollywood star or something?”
Sensing the growing tension between the sexy lawyer and me, George gives a quiet whine. He licks my hand and nervously wags his tail until Grayson caresses his ears. It’s only then that George relaxes, and I’m glad that at least my puppy is finding comfort right now.
My mind races as I try to figure out how to explain what just happened. “Those girls probably just thought George was cute…”
I trail off, losing the energy to deceive Grayson again. I’ve already lied about my career, and now I’m only digging the hole deeper.
Besides, I can tell by his face that he knows there’s more to it than that.
I want more than anything to go back to when Grayson and I were having a nice, sweet, deep conversation about our lives over burgers, fries, and shakes. That connection we had sitting there at the table in Franco’s was real. But I guess this is real, too. It’s hard, but it’s real.
Not everything can be simple, can it?
Biting my lip hard, I run a hand through my hair and shake my head. It’s time to stop being so secretive. Grayson deserves to hear the whole truth about my career.
“I’m an influencer, Grayson,” I say with a sigh. “My two friends and I have a beauty brand that we run on YouTube and social media. Actually, we’re pretty famous—like, really famous.”
He nods and leans back against the side of his car, then stares down at his feet, idly watching a few golden grains of sand get tossed in the breeze. I brace myself for what I’m sure will be an uncomfortable conversation once he’s soaked in the truth.
To my surprise, Grayson doesn’t question why I lied. He doesn’t get mad or irritated. He doesn’t accuse me of being sneaky or even vain. I almost want him to be angry because that would assuage my guilt, but he won’t even let me have that.
What he does say is just as heart-wrenching, however, only in a different way.
“Getting recognized must be pretty ordinary then, huh?” he asks.
I nod.
He considers that. “It must be difficult knowing that everywhere you go, people expect you to be who they’ve seen on their phones and computer screens. That pressure must be intense. I’m not surprised you didn’t tell me right from the beginning.”
I blink.
Here Grayson is, finding out that I’ve been hiding part of my identity, and he’s more concerned with my feelings.
He really is one of a kind.
I offer him a small smile. “Actually, when you and I met, I was running late for some meetings and a group of fans noticed me. I ducked into the library to get away from them and when you didn’t know who I was…” I shrug apologetically. “It felt amazing to have a chance to be myself.”
Grayson nods again. He inhales slowly, and when he does, I can hear resignation in the heavy breath. I already know what he’s going to say next—and that it’s going to devastate me.
His brown eyes, now somber and defeated, continue to pierce mine.
Please don’t say it, I silently beg him even as he opens his mouth to speak.
“Kali, I think you’re amazing.” As always, his rich voice is steeped in sincerity. Any other time, those words would’ve made me soar through the evening sky, but right now, it makes me want to melt into a puddle of sadness. The hot air balloon in my heart has definitely popped. “It’s just… You know the pressure I’m facing with my own career. In fact, you probably know it all too well. One wrong photo that a client or employer sees when they look me up online and I’d be done. I’ve had to fight so hard already…”
His voice cracks a little and he immediately falls silent, choosing instead to dig his hands into his pockets.
Listening to Grayson speak, I wish more than anything that I didn’t understand where he was coming from. I wish I could tell myself that he’s being ridiculous and selfish and mean. But the truth is, Idoknow those fears because I live with them, too.
Hot tears fill my eyes. I blink hard, trying to stave them off so that I don’t make this moment even more horrible by crying.
