Alina was about to declare that of course she was sure, but then she realized that would be something of a lie. “Okay, maybe I am…a little. But I didn’t intend for things to get out of hand like they did last night. It just happened.”
Kathy’s eyes widened. “What got out of hand? Are you talking about the way you were groping him when I walked into your apartment last night?”
“I was not groping him,” Alina insisted. “I was rendering first aid.”
Kathy snorted. “I’m pretty sure what I stumbled in on last night isn’t the kind of first aid they teach down at the local YMCA.”
“Whatever,” Alina said. She refused to engage in that line of conversation. “Besides, that’s not what I’m talking about. While we were undercover, we kissed. It was supposed to be a little smooch as part of our cover, but it ended up being hot, and I got kind of turned on. Things got even more sexually charged when we got back to my apartment. When you walked in on us last night, I was damn close to jumping him.”
Kathy blinked, clearly too stunned to speak. “Wow,” she finally said. “Not that I don’t envy the heck out of you, but doesn’t what happened last night complicate things? If they weren’t complicated enough already, I mean. I don’t suppose you have a clue if he felt the same way about the kiss?”
Alina shook her head.
Kathy thought a moment. “Remember before when I suggested you tell Trevor how you feel? Maybe you should leave out the part about wanting to have sex with him. At least for right now.”
Alina couldn’t disagree with that logic.
She would have asked if Kathy had any other suggestions, but then she heard a knock from across the hall. “That’s Trevor. I have to go.”
“Good luck,” Kathy said as Alina headed for the door.
“Thanks.”
After last night, she had the feeling she was going to need it.
* * *
Alina wanted to ask how Trevor’s gunshot wound was doing, but the silence in the SUV was so deafening she was almost afraid to break it. Not that his wound was the only thing she wanted to talk to him about, but damn, if she couldn’t talk about something that simple, how was she going to confess to betraying him?
Telling Trevor the truth had sounded so easy when Kathy suggested it earlier, but sitting beside him in the Suburban on I-95 south, it felt like the words were stuck in her throat. She had to say something, or she was going to go insane.
“Trevor, there’s something I need to tell you,” she said quietly.
“What’s that?” he asked, not looking at her.
“I owe you an explanation.”
He glanced at her, his expression unreadable. “You don’t owe me anything.”
She winced. Clearly, he wasn’t going to make this easy. Why should he? This was her screwup, not his.
“I told Dick about Larson,” she admitted in a rush. “I never dreamed he would go and harass the guy—or Cody. I’m sorry I did it, and I’m sorry I didn’t trust you.”
Alina expected questions, a furious rant, or at least an angry look. Instead, Trevor gave her nothing. He stared straight ahead as traffic jammed the highway.
She took a breath and decided to dive into the deep end of the pool. “Dick recruited me specifically to keep an eye on you, but I didn’t know that when I agreed to take the job. It was only afterward, during our first meeting in his office—when Thorn was there—that Dick told me you betrayed the DCO and had either helped murder John or were protecting those who had. I didn’t really know until later that I’d been set up and lied to.”
Trevor finally looked at her, his face guarded, almost thoughtful. He gazed at her for so long, she started to get uncomfortable, both at the intensity in his eyes as well as the lack of attention he was paying to the road.
“Aren’t you going to say anything?” she finally asked.
He turned his attention back to the highway. “What would you like me to say?”
“I don’t know, but say something,” she said in exasperation. “Tell me you believe me, call me a liar, say you couldn’t care less about my excuses. At least acknowledge you heard me.”
When Trevor still didn’t say anything, Alina thought her whole confession had been a waste of time and breath. But then suddenly, he jerked the steering wheel to the right, crossing two lanes of traffic and steering the SUV onto the shoulder of the road. Behind them, cars squawked and blew their horns, but her partner ignored them as he slammed on the brakes and turned to face her.
“Why didn’t you walk away from the job the minute Dick told you what he expected you to do? Why work with a partner you thought was a traitor?”
