After last night, she had the feeling she was going to need it.
* * *
Alina wanted to ask how Trevor’s gunshot wound was doing, but the silence in the SUV was so deafening she was almost afraid to break it. Not that his wound was the only thing she wanted to talk to him about, but damn, if she couldn’t talk about something that simple, how was she going to confess to betraying him?
Telling Trevor the truth had sounded so easy when Kathy suggested it earlier, but sitting beside him in the Suburban on I-95 south, it felt like the words were stuck in her throat. She had to say something, or she was going to go insane.
“Trevor, there’s something I need to tell you,” she said quietly.
“What’s that?” he asked, not looking at her.
“I owe you an explanation.”
He glanced at her, his expression unreadable. “You don’t owe me anything.”
She winced. Clearly, he wasn’t going to make this easy. Why should he? This was her screwup, not his.
“I told Dick about Larson,” she admitted in a rush. “I never dreamed he would go and harass the guy—or Cody. I’m sorry I did it, and I’m sorry I didn’t trust you.”
Alina expected questions, a furious rant, or at least an angry look. Instead, Trevor gave her nothing. He stared straight ahead as traffic jammed the highway.
She took a breath and decided to dive into the deep end of the pool. “Dick recruited me specifically to keep an eye on you, but I didn’t know that when I agreed to take the job. It was only afterward, during our first meeting in his office—when Thorn was there—that Dick told me you betrayed the DCO and had either helped murder John or were protecting those who had. I didn’t really know until later that I’d been set up and lied to.”
Trevor finally looked, his face guarded, almost thoughtful. He gazed at her for so long, she started to get uncomfortable, both at the intensity in his eyes as well as the lack of attention he was paying to the road.
“Aren’t you going to say anything?” she finally asked.
He turned his attention back to the highway. “What would you like me to say?”
“I don’t know, but say something,” she said in exasperation. “Tell me you believe me, call me a liar, say you couldn’t care less about my excuses. At least acknowledge you heard me.”
When Trevor still didn’t say anything, Alina thought her whole confession had been a waste of time and breath. But then suddenly, he jerked the steering wheel to the right, crossing two lanes of traffic and steering the SUV onto the shoulder of the road. Behind them, cars squawked and blew their horns, but her partner ignored them as he slammed on the brakes and turned to face her.
“Why didn’t you walk away from the job the minute Dick told you what he expected you to do? Why work with a partner you thought was a traitor?”
Alina blinked. Of all the things she expected he could have asked her, why she’d taken the job wasn’t one of them. But it was a question. And she had wanted him to say something. This was a start at least.
“I wasn’t lying when I told you it was time for me to leave the CIA,” she said. “Going back wasn’t an option. And in reality, there was some stuff in my past at the CIA that makes going after a traitor a very tempting offer. Dick obviously knew that when he recruited me.”
“What the hell does that mean?” Trevor demanded. “What stuff in your past?”
She took a deep breath. It was time to tell him about Wade and why she’d left the Agency, but before she could open her mouth to spill the secrets she’d never planned to tell anyone, Trevor’s cell phone rang. He cursed and dug it out of his pocket.
She expected him to ignore the call, since what they were discussing was kind of important, but instead, he thumbed the green button.
“Maxwell.” He listened for a moment, then frowned. “Slow down, Zarina. I can’t understand what you’re saying.”
Whatever the woman had to say, it must have been bad, because Trevor tensed.
“What’s wrong?” Alina asked.
Trevor eyed her for a moment, his gaze calculating, like he was trying to decide if he could trust her. Alina fully expected him to tell her it was none of her business, so she was surprised when he hit the speaker button on the phone.
“Zarina, can you repeat that? I just put you on speaker so Alina can hear.”
There was a slight hesitation, then a woman’s accented voice came on. “Sage has escaped and is running loose through the wooded area outside the complex. I’m doing the best I can to keep it quiet while Tanner and Jaxson try to get her back. If Dick figures out she’s missing, that will be all the excuse he needs to send someone out to kill her.”
Alina might not have known Sage, or Zarina and Tanner for that matter, but that didn’t stop her from getting a bad feeling in the pit of her stomach. The concern on Trevor’s face told her she was right.
