He’d not even heard the door open.
Gil stepped inside, then Miles.
His brothers. It was so good to see them again. He’d missed them. But that thought came tinged with the bitter taste of failure. He owed them an apology and so much more.
Both men seemed to study his face. Taking in the injuries now that they had daylight, no doubt.
Miles spoke first. "How you feeling?"
If he could have, he would have laughed at the question. Too many ways to answer, but he settled for, “Rough.”
Gil leaned against the top bunk. “We’re glad to have you back. You’re just in time too. Christmas was two days ago, but we decided to put it off until after this mess with McPharland is over. That way we can have a real celebration. Glad you’ll be here for it.”
Home for Christmas. The idea felt too good to be true. Would he really still be here by then? He had to get back to Jedidiah and finish what he’d started.
“One other change around here too.” Miles spoke this time. “We have a new hand, Hiram Pendleton, and his niece, Clara. They came through with a surveying group, but…well, it’s a long story, but they ended up staying on.”
Something in Miles’s tone sounded off, almost protective. And the way he said the woman’s name… Sampson focused his eye on his youngest brother. “She the woman I saw with you and Jude in town?”
Miles’s cheeks flamed, even more than they had from the cold. He straightened a little. “Yeah.”
If that reaction hadn’t said enough, the smirk on Gil’s face as he eyed Miles made the reality clear.
Sampson let his eye drift shut. “Well, little brother. I guess you’re all grown up.”
A throat cleared, and Sampson forced his eye open again.
Gil stood with his arms crossed. "Speaking of being grown up, it might be time for you to stay up at the house with your wife and daughter. And closer to the doc. It'd save her the trouble of trekking down here in the cold."
Another pang of guilt twisted his gut. He was being unfair to Dinah. But he couldn't bear the thought of burdening everyone else with his pitiful condition. And he wasn’t quite ready to face the whole family. "Better for you all if I'm out of the way."
Miles raised an eyebrow, his expression a mix of disbelief and frustration. "Better for who? You've got a wife and daughter who need you."
Wife and daughter.
The words felt like a jab. What help could he possibly be to Grace like this? Broken and useless. "She needs someone better than me."
Miles crossed the small space to sit on the bunk across from him, right where Grace had settled. He propped his arms on his legs as he leaned forward. "You might be right about that. But you're her husband. Your job now is tobecomethe man she needs." His tone sounded like the little brother he’d spent so much time with through the years. Yet somehow wiser.
Gil stepped closer and crouched between the bunks, closing the half-circle they made. "He’s right. You've brought her this far. You can't just abandon her when it gets hard. That woman up there, she's hurting. And as many kindhearted females as there are in that house ready to help, they're all strangers to her. I'd bet my last dollar that having you there would make all the difference in the world to Grace right now."
His words bit deep. Too deep.
The stubborn, ornery part of him reared up, ready for a fight. "I'm barely more than a stranger to her myself. Her father forced this marriage on her after I gave her a ride to Missoula and we stayed in that old trapper's cabin overnight. She doesn't want me. I'm just a reminder of everything she's trying to leave behind."
He hated this part of himself. Why couldn’t he just give in and agree with them? They were right. Probably. Grace might appreciate having him nearby. A more familiar face. Except…this bruised and swollen version wasn’t familiar to either of them.
Miles stretched out his legs, the bunk creaking under the shift of his weight. "So you didn't mean it then? When you vowed before God to love her, to care for her in sickness and health, for better or worse?"
If he'd had the strength, Sampson might’ve kicked him. Trust Miles to throw those words back at him.
He couldn’t even glare properly with one eye. "I meant it. I did that by bringing her here. I'm still doing it by staying away until I'm fit to be what she needs."
Miles leaned forward again, elbows braced on his knees. "Here's the thing. None of us are ever going to be good enough. Not on our own. That's why we need God and each other, why we're stronger together. You can't do this alone, so it's a good thing you came home. Now, are you going to let us help you up to the house, or are you going to hide down here and leave your woman to fend for herself?"
Put like that, it didn't seem he had much of a choice. Grace deserved far better than him, especially now. But since she was stuck with him, he had no choice but to step up and try to be the man she needed, broken pieces and all.
And he could start by not leaving her alone.
