Distantly, she heard the women's soft chatter as they tended to Ruby, but the words were muffled, indistinct. All that registered was the gentle timbre of their voices, the occasional gurgle from the babe. Sounds of comfort and attention.
What would it be like to live in a place like this, surrounded by the love and care she’d been immersed in since reaching this house? A life where Ruby would grow up knowing the affection of family?
A rush of moisture stung her eyes, and she squeezed them shut. She couldn’t let herself get used to this. She’d told Sampson she wanted independence.
And anyway, right now, these kind people thought Sampson had married her because he loved her. When she told them that her father had forced him into it, they’d not be so keen on accepting her and Ruby into their midst.
She let out a quiet sigh. She had to tell them soon. Right after she climbed out of this glorious bath and made herself decent.
With that thought firmly planted in her mind, she braced for disappointment and reached for the bar of soap.
CHAPTER12
Darkness pressed in on all sides as Sampson clung to his saddle, his eyelids heavy as lead. Each jarring step of the horse sent a fresh wave of pain rippling through his battered body. Only Dinah's laudanum kept him upright, but it came at the price of exhaustion thick as molasses.
Home. His bed in the bunkhouse. Just a little farther…
Jericho had ridden ahead to alert the others, and as they entered the yard, lantern light glimmered from up by the house. It must be close to bedtime, but a group of people had gathered.
His family.
The knot in his middle tightened. He wasn’t ready to face them. Not yet. Not as miserable as he felt.
Heidi and Dinah rode toward the house, but he turned his gelding toward the barn and bunkhouse. He had no strength left to explain, to talk. He needed sleep first.
"Sampson, come up to the house," Dinah called, her voice laced with concern. "I'll make a bed for you there so I can be close if you need anything."
He fought to form words, to push them past his locked jaw. "Going…to bed. Talk…in the morning."
Dinah turned to ride with him. " I’d feel much better having you in the house. You can rest there."
Sampson shook his head, then hissed as pain lanced through his skull, the battered flesh of his face screaming in protest. He knew how rough he must look, how pitiful. And he couldn't bear to be fussed over, to be seen so weak.
He couldn't let the rest of his family see him like this. Especially if Grace and the baby were already here. "I'll be fine," he managed. "Have one of the boys bring the laudanum. I'll take it myself if I wake up hurting." They could tell him for sure that Grace and Ruby had arrived. He tried to push more strength into his voice. "I’ll see everyone in the morning."
Dinah fell silent, and the sound of her mount’s steps no longer trailed him. He kept riding, each step of the horse sending a fresh jolt of agony through his body. But also, the promise of relief. Almost there. Almost to the haven of sleep, where he could forget the pain, forget the mistakes that weighed like millstones around his neck.
For a few blissful hours, he could just rest. And maybe, if God was kind, he'd wake with the strength to face the consequences of his choices, to start setting things right. One woozy step at a time.
The barn loomed ahead, a hulking silhouette against the dark sky. He reined in his gelding, then gritted his teeth for the dismount. This was the worst part, since he couldn’t use the bad arm and his ribs screamed when he tightened his middle. Gripping the saddle, he swung his leg over the horse and slid to the ground.
As his boots hit the dirt, pain exploded behind his eyes, and darkness swirled at the edges of his vision. He locked his knees, fighting the urge to crumple. Passing out face-first in horse manure would be a fitting end to this wretched day, but he'd not let it happen if he could help it.
"Sampson! Thank the Lord you're home." Miles appeared at his elbow, his face a mask of worry in the lantern light. "Let me help you inside."
Sampson forced a smile, hoping it looked less like a grimace. "Good to see you, little brother." The words scraped his raw throat. "Did Two Stones come with…?”
Talking used up so much energy, but hopefully Miles knew who he meant.
“With your wife and daughter? Yeah. Look forward to hearing that story.” Miles’s needling came through in his tone, but Sampson had no energy for it. Not now.
“They’re fine?”
“Seem to be. Sleeping now I think. You want me to wake Grace?”
Sampson eyed the bunkhouse. “Nah. Mind putting my horse away? I need…"
A wave of dizziness crashed over him, and he swayed, grabbing the saddle for support.
