She couldn’t tell him the answer, so she looked away, letting the fire's flames capture her focus. The dance of orange and red could be mesmerizing. She didn't have to think, just let her mind be distracted by that sight.
Eric was quiet a long moment, and when he spoke again, the confusion had cleared from his voice. His tone was gentle, maybe even uncertain. "Maybe we’ll never know what happened. I assumed you were ignoring me because of what I'd done to you. I tried to find you, Naomi. I truly did. After you left Wayneston, no one would tell me where you'd gone. I feared I'd lost you completely, that my mistake had pushed you away forever."
He started to reach out, like he wanted to take her hand. But then he stopped and dropped his arm back to his side. "You haven’t answered my question. Do you love Coulter? Or is there any chance for us?"
He looked like he was holding his breath, bracing himself for her answer. The hope in his gaze made her chest ache.
If Eric really could be trusted... If he really did love her...
Could she trust it?
She couldn't bear to lose him again, not like before. Her heart...it wouldn't take a second shattering. She'd barely managed to put the pieces back together the first time.
How could she say no to this chance? This wasEric. The man she still loved with every part of her heart. They could be a family, the three of them, just like they'd planned.
Tears sprang to her eyes at the overwhelming emotion.
She'd need to tell Jonah. She hated tohurt him, but he deserved a woman who was free to truly love him.Lord, help him find that person.
Eric looked nervous, and her insides were itching to tell him her choice. To see joy spread over his face.
She took a step toward him, close enough that she could rest a hand on his chest. She had to look up to meet his gaze, and the hesitant hope there made her smile. She lifted her other hand to join the first, letting herself soak in his warmth, the rapid beat of his heart. "I love you, too, Eric. I never stopped, even when I thought the pain of it might kill me." Her voice cracked, and she had to pause for a shuddering breath to still the rush of tears. This was the time for joy, not sorrow.
Yet through those long awful months she carried Mary Ellen inside her, the pain of losing Eric had merged with the pain of what his cousin had done, so much it was hard to separate one from the other. She should tell Eric about Harvey. He needed to know. Needed to know how she’d been sullied. But maybe now wasn’t the time. This reconnection was so new, so fragile. There would be a better chance later.
He gripped her arms, his touch solid. Secure. She wanted to close her eyes, to relish the feel of him. After so long.
But he pulled her close, his eyes intense. "I'm so sorry, Naomi. I know exactly what that pain was like, but the thought of you feeling it too... I'll do everything I can to clear those memories away, to replace them with good. Only good."
She was pudding in his arms, with those beautiful dark eyes, those soft lips speaking such love. Filling all the wounded holes inside her. Soothing the raw ache that hadn’t gone away since the day he left.
He pulled her closer, wrapping his arm around her waist.
She kept her focus on his face, and when his gaze dropped to her mouth, a tingle swept through her.Kiss me. Now. Please.
And he did. As much as she wanted that consuming, desperate kiss she remembered from before, he pressed only asoft, feather-light brush of his mouth to hers. A caress, then he started to pull away.
She couldn't stand it, her body crying out for so much more. She reached up and pulled his head down, rising on her toes to meet him.
This time he met her with the passion she craved. A deep joining of their lips, the strength she wanted so desperately. Yet there was still a guardedness beneath. And far, far too soon, he eased back. His breathing was as ragged as her own, and his hands moved to her upper arms, holding her there. She couldn't be sure if he wanted to keep her from stepping away or coming closer.
"I can't." He sucked in breaths, his focus every place except her face. "I can't let us go where we went before. I-I can't."
Realization swept through her like an icy waterfall, dumping shame like mud to ooze over her. Had she learned nothing? She'd been just as consumed now as that other night. Surely she would have come back to herself before she'd allowed things to go farther.
Eric's grip on her arms shifted, and he ducked to catch her gaze. "Naomi." His tone held an urgency, and she forced herself to look at him. To hear what he wanted to tell her.
Those eyes searched hers, seeking out every bit of her shame. Her regret. When he spoke, his voice was gentle. "Naomi Wyatt, I love you too much to let us repeat what happened last time. You ignite everything in me, but I give you my word, here and now, that I'll protect you with all that I have. You can know for certain that when I pull away, it's not because I don't love you, but because I do."
Her tears wouldn't be restrained. How had God given her this second chance? This second opportunity with the man who held her heart. The one God had made for her. She was even more certain of it than she’d been before. God meant for them to be together. Now that they were both stronger,more mature, He'd brought them back together to build the life He created them for.
As though Eric could hear her thoughts, he pulled her close, wrapping her in his arms and cradling her in his strength. Her ear pressed against his chest and their heartbeats melded into one.
CHAPTER 14
The morning sun glared off the blanket of snow, nearly blinding Naomi where she stood with the others to see Eric off. The wind had died down, though the air was still cold enough to freeze water.
Eric had been determined to leave. He was probably right. She needed to tell Jonah about her decision, and he would likely take it better if Eric wasn't around. But her heart ached at the thought of her intended leaving again.
