With that silent prayer, clarity slipped through her. She'd assumed Jericho was a Christian because Two Stones had recounted the impact Jericho's father had on his faith. And the way the brothers prayed before meals and the hymns they'd begun singing on Sundays.
But she and Jericho hadn’t talked about faith. Nor had she prayed about whether God blessed this love growing between them. She'd felt the rightness of the way He'd led them here and had assumed He was giving her Jericho.
But she'd not sought the Lord's guiding. Hadn't had the conversations about faith with Jericho she should have.I'm sorry, Lord.
This wasn't the time for that, but maybe she could plant a seed to help Jericho trust God for his family's safety.
She eased back from his embrace so she could see his face. A face so handsome her heart ached just to look at him, especially with the worry marking his brow. Now that she knew him so well, she could even see a hint of the fear that drove his actions to protect his family.
Give me the right words, Lord.She swallowed to bring moisture to her mouth. "Jericho, God is stronger than anything you face. Anything that could hurt your family. And He's enough. You can trust Him."
His brows lowered, but he said nothing. Maybe he needed time to think through it all.
So did she. She eased out of his arms, taking his hands in hers so she could give them a final squeeze. “I need time to pray about this, Jericho. I’ll let you know as soon as I make a decision.”
The warmth of his large, callused grip nearly stole her resolve. How easy it would be to step into his embrace again. Let him wrap his strength around her. She could promise to stay here, secluded from the rest of the world and its pain.
But resolution slipped into her spirit, and she stepped back, releasing his hands. "I guess I should start the evening meal." And then maybe she could slip out for a walk in the cool evening air.
It was time to seek God's will for their next step. Something she'd done far too little of since she and Naomi had come to the Montana Territory.
* * *
"Ithink we need to leave, Naomi." Dinah sat curled in bed, the covers pulled over her legs against the chilly night.
Beside her, Naomi used her elbows to push herself upright, the roundness of her belly making the act much harder than it once was. "Why? What's happened?"
That now familiar clinch in her chest made it hard to breathe, but she worked to keep her voice even. "I've been praying."
Naomi's eyes softened, and she stroked her fingertips over her belly. " I almost asked to go with you on your walk, but I thought you might need time to think."
Dinah couldn't find a smile, not with the pain of her decision. She’d given in to tears on the trail as she accepted the nudging of God's voice in her spirit. She pressed that memory away before the burn rose into her eyes again. "Jericho feels he needs to close the family away from strangers again so he can protect them. My being here as a doctor will go against that. I can't put him in that position, to feel he has to turn away injured or sick patients who seek my help. And I don't want the strife that would come between us."
Naomi rested a hand on Dinah's arm. "But what about the two of you? You can't leave the man you love. Surely you can work things out. Did you tell him he's being unreasonable? Did you tell him he has to trust God for protection?"
Dinah shifted her arm so Naomi's hand slid into hers. "I did encourage him to look to God, but I can't tell him he's being unreasonable. This is a conviction that's been nurtured in him for years, ever since their parents died. I can't expect to change him. In fact, it's his commitment to his family, his willingness to set aside his own happiness for those he loves, that makes me love him all the more. I can't tell him he should only do that when it suits my purposes."
She squeezed her sister’s hand. "I simply have to decide if I can live with his choices or if I need to make my own way. I asked God what our next step should be, and I kept feeling Him say He's given me a talent so I could use it for Him."
Just speaking the words aloud brought a fresh layer of certainty. "I can't do that if Jericho won't allow people who need a doctor to come to me. I understand why he feels the way he does. But…I think it's time for us to leave." She managed the words once more without her voice breaking.
Naomi stared at the footboard. " Did God point you in any particular direction?"
A rush of emotion rose up to sting her nose and eyes. Naomi always put a pleasant face on things. Always pushed aside her disappointment and looked cheerfully toward whatever unpleasant task awaited her.
If only Dinah could have made this work. If only she could have shielded her sister from the slap of yet another disappointment. Now, with the cold of winter coming on, they would have to leave the warm security of the Coulter ranch and these people they'd both come to love.
She swallowed back the tears. She had to focus on the next step. If she let herself linger on their losses, she wouldn't be able to face all that would be required over these next days. "I think we should head to Missoula Mills. It was quieter than Helena. It might be a challenge to find lodging we can afford, especially at first. But God will provide. I have no doubt of it."Right, Lord?
Naomi nodded, the movement a little slow, as though she was summoning her resolve. Was her sister also mourning an attachment of the heart she would have to leave behind? Dinah couldn't bring herself to ask. Naomi might not admit special feelings, given her condition. It was better not to speak of it. Better to focus on the future and what their next step should be.
Dinah inhaled a breath. "I suppose there's not much to pack here. Only what we brought with us. We could leave…" She scrambled for a reason to delay, but that would only make things harder. "We'll say our farewells tomorrow night and leave the next morning."
"All right." Naomi's voice lacked its usual strength. She scooted down into the bed and turned her back to Dinah.
It was better not to belabor the conversation. They would both mourn. But God had a plan for them. A plan for good in a place where they could both flourish in the work He'd created them for.
She had to believe that. Cling to that.
