Her gaze landed on Jericho's pox-covered face, and the past week flooded back in an exhausting wave, pressing her back in the chair, weighing on her chest.
He was so sick. She'd been by his side nearly every moment these past few days. But nothing she'd done seemed to help a jot.
He lay there now, his breaths wheezing in and out. The postules must still be raw down his throat. In fact, none had begun to scab anywhere on his body.
The fever still raged, and he'd not been able to keep anything she gave him down more than an hour.Heal him, Lord. Why haven't You done it yet?
The Bible said to be like the widow in the book of John who pestered the judge until he gave in, and she'd been begging God every hour for this man's healing.
"You need to rest, Di. And those blankets you’ve been using to sleep on the floor are clearly not giving you enough sleep. Come to my bed. I'll watch Jericho, and I'll wake you if anything changes with him."
She blinked and tried to focus on her sister, but her eyes burned. "I can't contaminate your bed." When she had her own single bed moved to the main room for Jonah, she’d thought to make up a bed pallet in the other chamber where the bed had been. But with Jericho so ill, she’d simply brought two wool blankets into this room and slept on the floor.
Naomi threw her hands up. "Then lie in his bed." She pointed to the wide space on the other side of Jericho. "It's not as if he has the strength to do anything to you. And we all know the situation. None here would judge. In fact, we'd all be relieved."
Dinah shook her head and swallowed to moisten her dry throat. "I can't do that." Though Jericho might never know she'd lain beside him, these emotional days caring for him had stripped away all her pretending that she didn't care about him.
He'd shown the strength of his character, the depth of his heart, since that day they first met him by the creek. He might not care for her at all, but he'd won her heart little by little. And lying beside him would mean giving away another piece.
If he recovered and didn't feel the same for her—or worse, if he succumbed to this sickness—she would have to heal from the damage already done to her heart. She had no desire to add more to that pain.
She pushed to her feet. "You shouldn't be in here." She'd done her best to keep Naomi and all the others away, though she'd needed Jude's help at times to assist Jericho with personal matters.
Naomi shouldn't risk herself and the baby though.
As she ushered her sister out, she paused at the doorway and glanced around the main room.
"Lillian is cleaning up from the morning meal. She's such a help." Naomi sent the girl a smile, which Lillian returned as she stood by the work counter, her hands deep in the pail of wash water.
Dinah leaned against the door frame. "I'm sorry I've left you both to do everything out here." She'd been hesitant to leave Jericho's chamber, both because he might need her and because she didn't want to spread the infection to anyone else in the household.
Naomi waved her apology away. "It's been a breath of fresh air. Lillian's done all the work really, I just supervise."
Dinah managed a smile for the girl. "Lillian, I don't know what we would do without you. Your new dress looks lovely on you. So grown up."
She smiled shyly, her gaze dipping. "Thank you."
Dinah breathed out a long breath as she scanned the room again. Her gaze caught on the door. "I think I'll walk for a minute. Get some air." Her muddled mind needed clearing.
As she stepped out into the sunshine, she had to squint against the brightness. The air possessed a cold nip though. A hint of the coming autumn.
No sounds drifted from the barn. She must have dozed off while the men came in for the morning meal, so she'd not heard where each would be working today. The last several days, a few of the brothers would ride out to train the two-year-olds who were learning to ride while the rest worked on a new path they were building from the house down the north slope. She still hadn't pieced together why they were building that trail, but they seemed intent on finishing it as quickly as possible.
She started that direction, but instead of taking the newly cleared path the men had made, with all its low stumps and freshly churned ground, she took the steeper route down the mountain. This way looked like it possessed a much richer history, with years of steady travel.
As she strolled, the hill hurried her steps. The movement freed her body, awakening her tense muscles and stretching them out.
The cluster of trees on her left looked familiar, a stand of three pines that had grown so close, their bases converged into one. She'd not seen pines grow that way before, though certainly oak and other varieties did.
A familiarity pricked in her mind. She'd passed these trees before, but from a different vantage point. In the wagon with Jericho when they traveled to Missoula Mills? No.
In the wagon, yes, but she'd been sitting beside Jonah's pain-riddled body, praying he didn't bleed out before she could stabilize his leg.
This must be the path to that clearing where he'd been injured. She wouldn't go as far as the accident site. It had taken them nearly a half hour to ride in the wagon from there to the house, and she couldn't leave Jericho for that long.
But she was moving downhill now. Maybe she could cover the ground faster than the wagon had.
Before long, an opening in the trees appeared ahead. She lengthened her stride. Why did she want to return to this place anyway? It had been the scene of so much pain.
