If he were ousted by the people of Laurent, his chance with Charlotte gone forever, could having God’s good opinion make up for that loss? The thought seemed laughable. He’d been estranged from God for so long, even before Michelle’s death, if he were honest. Charlotte’s presence in his life had helped so much, easing the numbing grief that choked his spirit before he met her.
But even now that he’d found her, there was still something yearning deep in his spirit. A longing. He’d ascribed it to the fact that she still wasn’t fully his—he still had to win over her family and convince her to wed him.
But could that longing be for something altogether different?
His gaze blurred, and he placed his tools on the table. Less than an hour and he would be finished with the image, save one more thorough examination and a few final touches.
But the weight pressing on his chest wouldn’t let him continue. Would barely allow him to breathe.
He dropped his head, squeezing his eyes shut against the moisture threatening. “What is it you want from me?” Hiswords sounded loud in the workshop, though he spoke them quietly.
Your Father is delighted in you.Chief Durand had meant God, but Damien had always had trouble thinking of the Almighty as a Father. Ever since his own parents died, he’d not had a father. Not needed one.
He’d taken care of Michelle, and they’d been just fine.
He’d refused to acknowledge any void in their lives. But when Michelle died, the hole had been impossible to ignore. He’d been so angry with God for taking her. There was no way he would consider giving the Almighty a place in his life.
Did he want to allow that now? Could God truly look at him with anything other than disgust or disappointment?
He raised his gaze to the ceiling, the rough stone a better fit for him than any cathedral. He swallowed down a lump. Straightforward had worked in the conversation with Durand. Would it be too disrespectful in speaking to the Almighty? It was the best he had to offer.
“I know I said if you’d get me out of the lake and let me help Charlotte, we’d have more regular conversations. I haven’t kept up my end of the bargain. I’m sorry for that.” The words came easier than he’d expected, rolling out of him. And the strange thing was they didn’t seem to be bouncing off the rock. It was as though God leaned close, listening. What did He think?
A new burning stung his eyes as realization swept through him. “Durand is right that I’ve been afraid of what people think. But maybe I’ve also been afraid of what you might think of me. It’s hard to believe you could delight in me. Most days, it’s hard to believe you cantolerateme.” Theway he’d deceived Charlotte about their route was a good example. Shame slipped through him afresh.
But he’d begun this conversation, and he would finish it. “I don’t get things right. But the truth is, I want to. I want to be a good man, maybe even the one you planned when you first formed me. Will you help? Show me what that looks like, give me strength to walk in your steps for my life. Help me be the man you want me to be. The man Charlotte needs.”
With each word, the struggle inside him seemed to ease. The turmoil slipped away, and a peace settled somewhere in the vicinity of that longing he’d been fighting for so long.
With a deep breath in, he pulled in the comfort, the strength he’d just asked for.Thank you ... Father. Help me be the son you want me to be.
Excitement thrummed in the air. Not just in their apartment, but down the main corridor and buzzing through every voice as people carried food toward the assembly room.
Charlotte glanced back at Damien as they followed the stream of neighbors that direction. He gave her enough of a smile that she could still spot his nerves, but he was intent on seeing the feast through.
If she could have, she would have slowed enough for him to come alongside, for her to slip her arm in the crook of his. But there were too many people around to allow the space. Besides, they both carried baskets of food.
As they stepped into the large high-ceilinged room where every major gathering was held, she was pretty sure sheheard Damien’s inhale. She could definitely feel his awe as he slowed to take in the expanse.
She stepped back against the wall so they could pause and allow him a moment to take it all in. He leaned close enough for her to hear amid the voices around them. “Did your people cut this room out of the mountain?”
She stared up at the dome, attempting to see it as a newcomer. “Our ancestors discovered this room mostly as it is. They also found a few other smaller chambers that they cut larger into apartments, but I think the group lived in this room for a while until homes were made for all.”
He met her gaze, his eyes shining. “If only my great-great-grandfather had been as brave as yours, my ancestors might have camped here, too. I might have been part of Laurent.”
She chuckled. “Brave or stubborn. Perhaps a bit of both.” She leaned her upper arm against his, stretching up so her breath brushed his ear. “Besides, there’s more than one way to become part of Laurent.”
He met her gaze, his eyes darkening as the corners of his lips tipped. The look reminded her of the rogue she’d first thought him to be. And when his focus slipped to her mouth, she could taste the kisses they’d shared. Her entire body yearned to repeat that sensation, here and now.
They’d not kissed since she left him and Gulliver on the trail, all those days ago. Even in the long hours when she sat nearby while he worked on the chalice, she’d been careful not to distract him from his focus.
Yet now, the etching was finished—masterfully completed. If only all these people didn’t surround them.
Damien’s eyes crinkled as a deeper smile played at his lips.Later, his gaze seemed to say.
And she would hold him to that promise.
“Charlotte, I’ve saved us a table.” Brielle’s hand on her arm nearly made Charlotte jump.
