Her heart pumped faster. Was it only the relief of the gentle touch he sought? Did her presence ease his pain? Either way, she would gladly comply. “Of course.”
His hand slid off her arm, and she began a gentle caress, first over the sun-darkened skin of his face, then through his thick hair.
The time would come soon when Levi would be well enough to manage on his own. Then she’d have to face the people and repercussions she’d been doing her best to ignore.
For now, though, she could simply enjoy these moments to caress him as much as she pleased.
19
As the falling snow outside thickened to a snowstorm that was almost as dark as night, Levi slept. When there was nothing else to do but wait, Audrey sat across from his still form and took up the bow. He’d formed a new notch at the broken end, and it looked like all that remained was to reattach the string. She had to work at the task for a while, pulling and adjusting the bow at different angles to get more tension. At last, the string seemed tight enough, but it took three tries to tie the end without releasing the tension she’d worked so hard to gain. Levi might want to work more on the bow, so she left the string tied in such a way that he could unfasten it if he wished.
Whittling an arrow from the branch proved to be much more satisfying work. Even after she’d scraped away as much of the outer coating as she dared, Levi still hadn’t awakened. She searched the loose stones in the cave for something that could be formed into an arrowhead, but nothing promising presented itself. If only she had a Bible here to help pass the hours. But when she’d packed the hasty bag of supplies for Levi, she’d not thought she’d be waiting out a snowstorm in the cave, desperate for something to occupy her.
She focused on reciting all the Scripture she’d committed to memory, sometimes only bits of sentences. She really needed to be more intentional about memorizing the Lord’s words. Though she kept her voice quiet, speaking these comforting words aloud soothed her spirit.
She was reciting from Psalm 37 when a stirring from Levi’s pallet drew her focus. His eyes were open, watching her. He must have heard her words.
Doing her best to ignore the heat climbing into her neck, she moved toward the fire. “Are you hungry? I have broth ready.”
While she poured a cup, he shifted his elbows underneath him and sat upright by himself. “Your ribs must be feeling much better.” All this rest had probably quickened their healing.
He took the cup she handed him, holding it in both hands as his gaze regarded her. His intensity made her want to look away. Yet his eyes held her.
Finally, he spoke, his voice softer than before. “It still doesn’t quite seem real that you could be so wonderful. How God could have placed the perfect person in Laurent to get me out safely and bring me to this hiding place.”
The kindness in his words sent a flush to her cheeks. She didn’t deserve such a high opinion. “You think I got you out safely?” She sent a pointed look down the length of him.
“That wasn’t your doing, nor anything you could control. But God has given you the talents and knowledge of a healer. I suspect there’s not another woman within two weeks’ ride with your abilities. God knew what would happen and placed you here just when I needed you.” His eyes darkened with emotion. “It’s humbling to realize how richly He provides. I’m more than grateful to you both.”
As much as she wanted to sink into his regard, to see if there was any sentiment deeper than appreciation, she couldn’t. She pulled her gaze away and sat beside the fire. Not as far away from him as her usual place across the cave. “I was only doing what felt right. I couldn’t let you be punished for something you didn’t do.”
Silence settled for a moment, save for the crackling of the fire. Then Levi’s quiet words filled the space. “Are you always so good at reading people? Always the protector of the wrongfully condemned?”
She chanced another look at his face. She’d never spoken of her mother to others, none except her father and Brielle. The older villagers knew the story too well, and though the matrons had always been kind to her, she’d heard the whispers that lingered even when she was old enough to understand and question Papa. She’d hated hearing that story and had never thought she would willingly bring it up. Yet part of her wanted Levi to understand. To see why it was so important to her to give people the benefit of the doubt.
Would he think less of her once he knew her history? If he did, that might be for the best. His opinion now was far higher than she deserved. It took a moment to find the best way to relate the sordid details.
“My ... mother died giving birth to me. But before that, she hadn’t been faithful to my father. She regretted what she’d done and was honest with him. I was a product of her unfaithfulness, and after several of the matrons learned of the affair, the scandal spread quickly. The man who sired me wanted nothing to do with me or my mother, and he died of sickness a few months after I was born.” She inhaled a steadying breath. “Despite everything, my parents madeamends before I was born. But then I took her life. My father was left with a babe not his own, and even worse than that, a child who was a constant reminder of his wife’s unfaithfulness and the disgrace she brought on him.”
That first part was easier to speak without emotion, for she’d not been there for most of the turmoil. But this next...
“Yet, from the very beginning, my papa cared for me and loved me like I was his own flesh and blood. He never ever made me feel unwanted or unloved, either through his words or actions. I always felt treasured, always appreciated, even for the little things.” Her voice broke, but she swallowed and pressed on. “He didn’t count my past against me. He looked for the good in me and loved me for it, even when I surely disappointed him and brought even more disgrace on him at times.”
Passion slipped into her words as she continued. “My father struggles with melancholy, and, some days, with too much strong drink. Being around people can be hard for him, and some of the others look down on him for these tendencies. But I know who my father is deep inside.” She pressed a fist to her chest. “What a good, loyal, caring man he is. With the same measure he accepted me, I want to accept others. Find the good in them, and treat them with kindness.”
As she waited for Levi to respond to her story, she studied his eyes for a sign of his thoughts. They glistened, and she might’ve thought that was from pain or fever if not for the warmth simmering in his gaze.
At last, his mouth parted to speak, even as his eyes still held her. “Your father sounds like a good man, and I’m grateful he did the right thing. That he raised you in a home filled with love.” Something in his voice hitched with those words,but he kept speaking, so she marked the thought to consider later. “I can understand why you feel the way you do.”
He leaned forward, and she almost moved closer to better hear what he would say next. “You know, though, that you’re not responsible for the actions of your parents, either good or bad. It doesn’t matter how you were conceived. You were perfectly formed by God. He loves you as His daughter, no matter what you do or don’t do.”
A sting of tears made her eyes ache with his words. As much as she wanted to take them in, part of her couldn’t stand the thought of opening herself again to the pain. Papa’s love was a refuge, something solid. If she truly absorbed what Levi said, she would have to fully shift her refuge to God’s love. She knew it was real. Knew in her head God created every person and cared for each unconditionally. That knowledge helped her reach out to others in that same way. But accepting that love for herself ... Trusting in it and allowing that certainty to be her strength ... She wasn’t ready to face the shift that would require.
But still, the fact that Levi would say such a kind thing stirred in her chest. She placed her hand on his and smiled. “Thank you. I needed that reminder.”
Something in his gaze deepened, and an awareness rose up between them. Not that she hadn’t been incredibly aware of him before—his strength, his good looks, and so many other qualities that had come to mean so much to her.
But this awareness felt mutual. And their touch seemed to seal the connection.
