But I always believed in monogamy and in commitment. Rebecca might not have been a woman I still loved, but she’d become mine to care for.
But with Katarina…
I feel the difference deep in my soul. She is both. She can be soft when I need softness, and she can rake her nails down my back and smack my ass as she demands I fuck her hard.
She has the passion and the drive to be my partner, not just my responsibility. “I don’t think it’s complicated at all.”
She lifts her head then, her pretty brow furrowing. “You’re joking.”
“I don’t really joke. We both know that.”
Her brows lift. “Should I repeat the comment that started this conversation?”
I squeeze her tight. “I know what I did, I know why I shouldn’t have done it, and I am…sorry.”
Her eyes go wide. “Hell has frozen over,” she mumbles as she lays her head back on my chest.
But I have the feeling that despite my apology, something has been…lost.
This is a moment where we should be connected and instead, I feel the distance between us.
I don’t like it at all.
I’ve never felt this intensely for another person ever in my life, but I’m not quite certain how to emotionally bring her to where I am.
“I mean the words,” I insist. “I am sorry, and going forward, I will never allow anyone or anything to hurt you.”
She lifts her head again, her chin resting on my chest, and this time, her smile is soft as she reaches up to stroke my cheek. “Thanks, Win.”
A second later, she lays her head back down and falls asleep.
Note to self, there is no point in discussing anything with her after sex. I wrap her tighter in my arms instead and close my eyes.
I must fall asleep just as quickly, and I don’t wake until the sun hits my eyes from the bank of windows.
I jerk awake and then squeeze Katarina.
She’s slid to the side, her body nestled into the crook of mine, her head on my shoulder.
I’ve never slept wrapped around a person like this before and I think it might have been the best sleep of my life.
The two orgasms probably helped.
I look down at her as she stirs, and I stroke a hand down her back, trying to make sure she stays asleep.
I don’t blame her for being suspicious of me.
Not only am I guilty of using her to bait her father, yesterday I lied to her.
The second sin was for her protection, but I still don’t like it. I’m going to have to come clean.
There is a lot that is irritating about me. But those hard edges come with a few benefits, and one of them is usually that I’m honest.
I need to leave soon. I fully intend to canvas the hotel, strategically placing security throughout the premises, and checking every entrance and exit.
Ivan has likely done the same.
But I hold for a few more minutes, just wanting the feel of her skin against mine. I will best Ivan Ivanov. But my reasons have become hazy.
