Both Hawk and Faina look at me with the same stunned expression.
“What?” Faina gasps.
“What’s the catch?” Hawk asks, thankfully lowering his gun.
My heart beats wildly as I glance at Faina, praying that she trusts me. “There’s no catch. Look at me.” Lifting both hands, I laugh. “I get scared being in a square room. Most days, I’m barely holding it together. I have no family. I have nothing to go back to. If I want even a semblance of power like I had before, then I need help getting there. I have nothing more to lose and I’m tired.” Scoffing, I shake my head back and forth. “I’m done. I’m so fucking done.”
32
FAINA
Ican’t believe what I’m hearing!
Cian’s actually buying into this bullshit? Does he really see no end to this other than servitude under this cunt?
“I’m tired of tracking across the world trying to avenge people who aren’t here anymore,” Cian continues. “People who left me for months to be tortured. I was always second best, no… third best. I was nothing. My twin got Underboss, not me. My brother got Captain. I was nothing more than a grunt, and for what? So I can try and kill you to avenge them?” He groans as he laughs and reaches for his glass of wine.
“Cian…”
“Don’t,” he snaps suddenly. “You’re just another reminder of how pathetic my life has become.”
My heart sinks while Hawk can barely hide his glee. “Tell memore.”
“What else is there to say?” he says with a dry, humorless laugh. “I spent my entire life growing up in my brother’s shadow. Doeither of you have any idea what that’s like? How often Cormac fucked up and I was there to clean it up, I was there to fix things, and when it came down to it, when it really mattered, Cormac wasn’t there for me. He was promoted to Captain based on stupid rules when I was the one who put in the most work out of everyone!” He raises his voice slightly. “And then to make matters worse, my twin gets Underboss? I wasn’t even considered! I was overlooked as nothing more than a grunt, like my name and my efforts were worthless.”
Hawk leans forward slowly. “I know about being overlooked. It’s how people like you and me excel, though. When they don’t see us, we’re free to make bigger moves.”
“Are we?” Cian stands abruptly and drags one hand through his hair. “I was so overlooked, I spent months in captivity being tortured and no one came for me. They came for Saoirse, they looked for her, but me? I was nothing. I was a nobody. And then there’s you!” Suddenly, he points at me and my heart jumps.
“Me?”
“You! I fell in love with you, youmademe love you, and then I find out you’re a fucking cop. Interpol, of all things! So while I’m running through Europe, you’re bringing the cops right to my door, and even when they arrested us, they were more interested in her than me!”
Didn’t we already talk about this? I thought Cian and I had smoothed things over, but his rant continues, and each word feels like a blade against my skin. He sounds hurt and angry, his voice growing louder and louder.
“I’m just a pawn,” Cian rants. “I’ve always been fodder. Always sent in when no one else dares and I’m just a fucking chess piece to everyone around me.”
Our eyes meet, and where I fear to see anger or hatred, instead I glimpse something else. A warmth that’s family. An understanding.
Of course.
I know Cian.
I know how much he loves his family.
This isn’t him.
But Hawk is drinking up the performance like it’s everything he’s been hungry for and more.
“I understand,” Hawk soothes. “As soon as I saw you on the bridge, I understood. Who else would survive that explosion but you? Who else would understand what it’s like to claw your way toward something, only to be denied over and over? Other people are better. Other paths. And to be abandoned in that facility, tortured in ways that still affect you now? Never mind being tricked by the cops… I understand.”
“Bullshit,” Cian snaps.
“No, I do!” Hawk suddenly sounds earnest. “Work with me, Cian. Let me crown you as the new king and together, we can take over the entirety of America together. The drug trade won’t know what hit it and everyone who ever overlooked you in favor of Cormac will learn to respect you or we’ll deal with them. We’ll be a world power.”
Hawk is desperate. It’s amusing to see, despite how his hunger for power killed so many people and how he’s blind to how he brought all of this on himself. It would warm me to know that anyone still doing business in the States refuses to work with him, but it brings a cold fear that Anastasia is truly dead.
“Can you guarantee that?” Cian snaps. “How can I believe you?”
