Cian scoffs and picks up his cup, draining his drink in just a few gulps. “Look where peace got us.”
“We lost a lot of people too,” I say softly.
“You don’t knowshitabout loss.”
“No.” My heart aches for him. A man once so full of vibrant life has been reduced to a dark shadow of anger and nothing else. “I don’t suppose I do.”
“I reached out to you fucks,” Cian snaps, but he catches himself and shoves his mouth into the crook of his hand went the waiter returns with my tea. He sets the cup down and nods at me, then he heads back inside. Only once the door is closed does Cian speak again. “You never replied. None of you fuckers replied.”
I hadn’t learned about Cian’s attempts to contact us until he’d already left the States, but he won’t believe me. He’s already made up his mind. I can see it in his eyes. “I know.”
“Then why do you think I’d listen to anything you have to say now?”
“Back then, we were hurting. We’re on lockdown because of what happened. We lost a lot of good people that night, and Anastasia barely survived. Protecting our Godmother came first and foremost. Everything else was unimportant until she was stable. By then…” I puff out my cheeks and circle my hands around my cup. “I’m sorry you were alone. I’m sorry we weren’t there. But we had our own fires to put out, and now that we have, we want the same thing.”
Cian snorts darkly. “I doubt that very fucking much.”
“It’s true.”
He scoffs and hides a mutter of something in his cup.
“Look. What happened to you and your family is sickening and you want revenge. We want the same thing. Cormac and?—”
“Don’t say his name,” Cian snaps coldly. “Don’t you dare.”
Words catch in my throat until I nod. “I’m sorry. Look, I’m not going to dance around it. We lost friends too and we want revenge. I know you’ve picked up where your sister left off, and we’re tracking the same thing.”
“What else?” Cian sets his cup down and leans forward until he’s resting one elbow on the table. “If things are so dire with you, I know you’re not doing this out of the goodness of your heart.”
Keeping anything from Cian doesn’t feel wise at this point, but telling him the truth bears the risk of him turning his back on me. I need to guarantee his help, not alienate him further. The last thing we need is a clash of heads while trying to catch the fucker responsible for turning New York into a graveyard.
“We think we’re next,” I say quietly. “We’re losing businesses left and right. Someone is trying to systematically wipe us off theboard, and we’re the last line of defense between disaster and the Italians. Rocky is still out and they’re scrambling with nothing. If we fall… that’s it. There’s nothing left.”
“So you’re here out of self-preservation. Not because you fucking care.”
“Two things can exist at once.”
“Not for us.” Cian’s bitterness bleeds into his words and his gaze remains down. “The Irish have giveneverythingand lost everything at the hands of both your family and the Italians. So tell me why I should give a shit about helping you?”
“Because it’s about me helping you, Cian. You know me. We used to be—” I catch myself and clear my throat, burying the sudden surge of old emotions in a mouthful of sweet fruit tea. “Look. I know where the money is. I can track it better than you can. Oddly, it was easier to trace the money than it was to find you these past two months. But I knew if I followed the trail, I would catch up to you eventually. So here I am. We can work together. You’re not alone in this. Someone hurt you, and now they’re trying to hurt my people. And they’ve been active in the shadows for averylong time. I’m going to take them down, and I want to help you get the revenge you seek.”
Cian falls silent with his gaze locked onto me. There was a time when I would stare into those green eyes and they would fill me with an overwhelming sense of love and acceptance. It’s wrong of me to crave a return to those secret summer nights, but I ache for it. If Bruno hadn’t killed Domenico, I would have dragged out his death for every day he took Cian away from me. I would have made him suffer the same terrible ways he made the love of my life suffer.
But I couldn’t. And I couldn’t go to him because Cian ended our secret relationship fearing I was distracting him from protecting his family.
Is that how he sees me now? As just another distraction?
Slowly, Cian’s gaze falls away from me and drifts out to the street. For a moment, I catch a glimpse of the man I used to know as the weak January sun breaks through the cloud cover ahead. Cian was known for being powerful but rather childish and outgoing. He was the enforcer with an iron fist and a snarky joke. Now all I see is a man holding himself together with anger and nothing more.
“I can’t begin to understand what you’ve been through, or what you’re currently going through.” I sip my tea one last time and stand slowly so as not to alarm him. “But we can help each other. Your skills and mine together? The fucker behind this won’t stand a chance. And like I said, the money was transferred to a bank in France. I know which account and I know where it might go afterward. I can’t say for sure but… it’s a start. So please, consider it. Meet me here.” Pulling a small card from my pocket, I slide it across the table to him, but my touch lingers for a few seconds, then I straighten up. “Please.”
Cian finally looks up at me with his gorgeous, hollow eyes and his jaw tenses. “No.”
“Please—”
“Go. Get away from me. Go back to whatever it is you were doing and just leave me alone.”
My heart sinks like a rock down to my gut. Not the response I was hoping for. But I have to respect it. With a soft smile, I nod just once and walk past Cian. I don’t stop walking until I’macross the street and several shops down where I stop at the mouth of an alley and turn. Cian still sits on his chair with the wind drifting lazily through his copper hair and his entire form hunched in a tight, pained line.
