“And Anastasia? Everyone else? Do they know?”
“No one knows,” she murmurs. “It’s not exactly a past I advertise. Do you think she would have me as her Underboss if she knew?”
Cian rolls his eyes and his jaw tightens. “I don’t even know you, do I?”
“You do.”
“No. All I see is someone who's holding my freedom over me like a fucking threat. Just like they are.”
God, I want to throw myself at his feet and beg for him to understand but I can see it in his eyes. All he sees is a cop who managed to get under his skin, who he shared secrets and intimacy with. Someone who holds power over him now because any of those secrets could put him in prison. I never would, but it’s clear he doesn’t trust me anymore.
“You’re angry,” I murmur. “I lied to you. I understand. But please believe me that this is how we survive.”
He finally looks at me and the pain in his eyes is suffocating. “You’re not the woman I fell in love with, are you? You’re just a bunch of lies and tricks wrapped up in a pretty smile.”
My heart breaks into a thousand pieces and I swallow hard around a rising lump in my throat. “Maybe,” I reply while wrestling those emotions down. “But I’m also the woman saving your life.”
“Saving?” He scoffs darkly. “Four walls in here or a leash out there. I see nosaving.”
23
CIAN
Faina’s visit and revelation that she’s actually an Interpol spy leave me reeling, but there’s no time for me to process. She drops her bombshell and then she’s dragged away, leaving me to spend the next three days learning everything I can about the Lebanese Mafia.
Men who never would have made it onto my radar are suddenly key in tracking down Hawk. The men who come toeducateme bring nothing but brief bouts of information and warnings about how dangerous these families are. The crimes they list off pale in comparison to what happens in New York, but I know better than to say anything. The last thing I need to do is incriminate myself.
But is there even any point in staying quiet? If Faina only freed herself from Interpol after her father died and Anastasia made her Underboss, there’s no telling what family secrets could fill a file around here about me. Helping them might bring me immunity to one case, but for all I know, there are several other cases with my name on it built by information she provided.
It’s hardly freedom, but I take it because one more day in that suffocating cell might actually kill me.
Faina and I sit across from each other in a moving van while a man in black cargo pants and a sweater winds a wire up through my shirt and tapes it to my chest.
“You really think we’ll get into that party with a wire and no one will be able to tell?” I mutter.
Interpol agent Richard Whittle sits next to Faina across from me and barely glances up to grunt. “They won’t care about you enough to notice.”
“You tell me this Mafia is so protective over its own people, won’t open their doors to anyone, and you had to get usspecificidentities to even get us into this place and yet you think they won’t notice?”
Richard glances up and then sighs as if my very presence is the sole cause of all despair in his life. “Listen. The Lebanese are holding a weapons auction. Not silly little handguns or submachine guns, I’m talking the real deal. Ground-to-air missiles, bombs and more carnage than you can even dream about. They have people coming from all over so yes, I think they will be more focused on protecting the weapons than caring about you and who you represent.”
“We’re married?” Faina, who was busy poring over the file of our identities, finally looks up. “Should we practice history?”
“No,” I reply shortly. “Might be easy for you, but I’m not used to living a lie.”
Her eyes narrow. “And if we get questioned?”
“You heard him.” I jerk my head to Richard. “They won’t even look at us.”
“That’s not what I meant and you know it,” Richard snaps.
“Do I?” I mutter. “Do I know that? Who can tell with you fucking pigs.”
The guard working on my wire is less than gentle when attaching the last piece to my belt, then he shoves me back in my seat and sits beside me.
“You know what you have to do,” Richard states. “Get in, find Hawk, get out.”
“And if he’s not there?” Faina adjusts her own wire and lowers her shirt.
