But I also couldn’t let them take this from me. And I wouldn’t screw up the one thing I’d dreamed of since I was a little girl. Not when I’d finally landed a role in a real Off-Broadway production. It wasn’t the lead, sure, but being cast as the understudy for Ruby Vance inCity Songwas the biggest break I’d had. I was one call away from actually appearing onstage—all it would take was for the lead to twist her ankle or come down with the flu. And when that happened, I had to be ready.
I couldn’t walk away. Not now. Not when I was finally starting to live the life I’d worked so hard for.
That meant doing what everyone expected of me—at the club, at the coffee shop, at the theater. Nat had called it “survival acting.”
Today, I was determined to play that role perfectly.
My fingers tightened around the cuffs of my sleeves as the coffee shop came into view, and my thoughts shifted.
Wouldhecome to Cipher this morning?
My stomach twisted, just a little.
Not because I was scared, but because I didn’t know what I wanted.
A part of me hoped I’d see him again. The other part was terrified of him.
My Russian stalker—the man with the voice that made my stomach flip.
I exhaled hard and pushed the door open. Time to get to work.
The soft clink of mugs and shifting trays welcomed me as I stepped inside.
“Morning!” I called.
Carmine looked up from behind the counter. His face was gruff, but there was a flicker of warmth in his eyes. “You’re coasting in at the last minute.”
I shrugged. “It still counts as on time. How’d the surprise health inspection go?”
He frowned slightly. Then his brows shot up. “Fine. Everything was fine. Just one of those things the city puts business owners through from time to time. Cost me a day’s income, but what do they care?”
He grunted and turned toward the oven.
I moved to the back, tossed my coat onto the hook in the office, and pulled my apron over my head. The aroma of coffee, cinnamon, and baked sugar was comforting—something I could hold on to for a few hours before the rest of my life showed up with a knife behind its back.
My mind drifted tohim.
The man with the voice that was panty-meltingly delicious, and the eyes that made my heart stop. The man who hadn’t just kissed me but devoured me as if he owned my very soul.
I didn’t even know his name.
And yet, he was in my head.
In my dreams.
Was that insane?
Probably.
But ever since that night in the alley—when he hadcommandedme and I’d obeyed—something inside me had shifted. I hated him. I craved him. And worst of all, I couldn’t stop thinking about him.
I caught myself biting my lip and forced my attention back to flipping the sign on the door to let customers know we were open.
He probably wouldn’t show.
Men like him wanted a woman who could handle the rough, filthy way he probably enjoyed fucking.
And girls like me didn’t get to want what we couldn’t survive.
