“It was never going to work between us, Saint. No one will ever understand. You deserve better than all of this. Better than me. Better than a forbidden relationship, no matter how much we want it.”
I move toward him, placing my hands on his cheeks and forcing him to look me in the eyes. Tears are rolling down my face at the thought of not being with him, and I swear I can feel my heart breaking in my chest. “Please don’t do this. Don’t… leave me. I love you,” I whisper. “Don’t you love me?”
“With everything I am,” he slurs. “But sometimes that’s not enough.”
“Shit, baby. Let’s go. We don’t need to be here. I forgot about that. I think I block that night out of my memory.” He grabs my hands, revealing my tattoo on my wrist, and rubs his lips over it. “Remember what happened the second I got out there?” I don’t respond because, of course, I do, but I want him to say it. “I regretted it and called you immediately, telling you how much I missed you and how sorry I was for leaving you like that.” He kisses my knuckles one by one before resting my open palm against his cheek. “I’ll never stop being sorry for that. For starting a life so far away from you when you were always the center of it,” he says before pressing a kiss to my open palm.
“I guess I’m sorry for not coming there after I graduated and going to grad school in New York.” I briefly considered moving to Seattle to be with him, but a part of me—a part I often hated on the nights when I missed him so much—didn’t want to follow a man. He’d made a decision for him, and I wanted to do the same. So I moved to New York for business school, which was a loose plan Wild and I had made in high school. He was the one who up and changed everything without talking to me first.
Why should I follow him when it wasn’t what I wanted?
“I’m not upset about that. I’m proud of you for going after what was best for you and your future career.”
The bartender, a man on the shorter side with tattoos covering every inch of skin that’s exposed except on his face, approaches us, and I order a dirty martini. Wild orders a scotch along with two shots of tequila for us. “So we’re taking an Uberto the hotel, then.” I giggle just as the bartender puts the shots in front of us.
“It’s only ten minutes from here. Either that or we walk,” he tells me, reminding me how terrible my sense of direction is because I definitely hadn’t realized that.
The bartender is back with our other drinks, setting them down in front of us and taking Wild’s card before retreating to the center.
“Ready to take these?” He holds his shot glass up, and I tap mine gently against it. We down them, and just as I’m taking a sip of my martini, I hear my name.
“Halle St. John and Sebastian Wilder? Well, I’ll be damned.” I look up just in time to see Noah Carr, a friend from high school, making his way toward us.
“Jesus, do people not leave this town?” Wild murmurs just before Noah makes it to where we’re seated. He looks about the same, just with dark facial hair against his brown skin and a little more weight on him.He’s wearing a cashmere sweater with a button-up beneath it and jeans, giving him the look of a young professional who just got off work oncasual Fridays.
“Noah!” I stand and let him envelop me in a tight hug before he picks me up off my feet. When he puts me down, he moves to Sebastian and embraces him as well before slapping his back.
“What are you guys doing here? I thought you lived in New York and you were out in Seattle?” Noah sits down in the empty seat on the other side of me.
“My mom is getting married, and tonight was her engagement party,” Wild answers, and I can already see the annoyance at him sitting down, meaning he wants to catch up.
“Oh shit, that’s awesome. Tell her congratulations,” he says.
“Do you still live here?” I feel a little bad that he clearly keeps up with me, and I have no idea where he lives.
“Sure do.” He chuckles. “Came back right after college. I guess I wasn’t as brave as y’all. Say, what are you doing tonight? I’m meeting Zack. You guys should hang out.”
“Zack Hodge? No way,” Wild says, referring to another guy who graduated with them.
“Yeah, you’ll never believe who he married…” He hesitates before answering, “Madison Jenner.” Irritation instantly spikes in my veins even though he just said she was married, but all I can think of are the rumors that were going around that she and Wild were hooking up. “Didn’t you guys have a thing?” Noah chuckles, and I take a long sip of my drink, not wanting to show the anger brewing over that comment.
“No.” Wild chuckles, trying to appear nonchalant when I know he’s ready to drop to his knees to convince me that it’s not true. “That was just a rumor. We never hooked up.”
“Really? Oh shit, well anyway”—he shrugs—“what’s new with you? Neither of you guys is married, right?”
“Nope,” I tell him, crossing one leg over the other and revealing my leg through the slit in my dress. I notice Wild’s eyes flit to the movement before he looks away.
“Seeing anyone?” Noah nudges my elbow. “Or is Wild still scaring off anyone who breathes in your direction?”
“I’m seeing someone, yes. He’s a little on my nerves right now, though.” I laugh before shooting a sideways glance at Wild.
“And how do you feel about that?” Noah points at Wild.
“He’s a decent guy. He’s pretty down bad, so… I like that for her.” He nods, and I roll my eyes, though I feel my prior aggravation over the Madison comments melting away.
Only you, baby.I can practically hear him telling me.Just a rumor. You know that.
“You know I have to tell y’all, and this may be prompted by all the beers I’ve had today, but I always thought you two had something going on.” He puts his hands up as if he’s alreadydefensive. “I know it’s weird, but it was just a feeling. You guys were just always attached at the hip. Where one went, the other followed, and I know, Iknowyou two were close after what you went through as kids, but it was just something I thought. Actually, a few of us… if I’m being honest,” he rambles.
