“Yes. I went to my room and used a vibrator to get off.”
He took his hands off her waist and ran his fingers through his own hair. “That is so fucking hot, thinking of you doing that alone in your room.”
Disbelief mixed with relief flooded through her.Is he serious? That’s his reaction to my pathetic sex life?
Nori’s tinkling bell laugh sounded in her head, the only indication her light had been listening to their entire conversation.
Brayden stared at her. “But wait—your first one ever?”
“Ever.”
“Wow.” His face fell a little.
As she took in his expression, the fearful part of her that had always whispered something was wrong with her flared with recognition. She rushed to name it for him before he could say something that would hurt her more.
“See? It’s sad, isn’t it, needing a vibrator to figure it out?”
He shook his head. “No, no. It’s not sad. I just hate thinking of you going so many years without one.” Then he grinned. “If anything, the vibrator thing is a positive for me, because it means you’re open to playing with toys.” He winked.
She stared at him, dubious that he was completely unflustered by her darkest secret. Then she remembered the lies she’d told.
“Wait though—that’s not the worst of it. I lied to Alastair about it for our entire relationship. He assumed I was having orgasms the whole time,” said Scarlett.
Brayden’s face broke out in a grin as he chuckled.
“You think that’s funny?”
His grin faded. “It’s not funny you had a hard time figuring it out.” He pulled her closer until she was straddling his lap and rested his hands on her waist. “I laughed because I’m stupid-happy your first one with another person could be with me. If you’re trying to scare me off, you’re doing a terrible job.”
“You don’t think something’s wrong with me for lying about it?” Her stomach turned as their proximity brought a flush to her cheeks. “What if I can’t with you either? Wouldn’t you be disappointed? Wouldn’t you want to leave me?” Defenseless and exposed, she held her breath as she waited for him to reply.
He shook his head, his expression certain. “Alastair wasn’t right for you. Iam.I know you’d never lie tome. If you had an orgasm alone, we can have one together. If I watch you use that toy on yourself, that counts.” He smirked. “And feel free to let me watch you use a toy on yourself anytime, day or night. That’s officially my new favorite fantasy.”
Laughing, she blinked away tears of relief. He didn’t think she was weird or unattractive.
Brayden went on. “But seriously, I think you should let me try to get you off a few times before you start freaking out about not being able to orgasm with me. I don’t mean to sound cocky, but maybe it’s a pointless worry.” He flashed her a devilish grin.
“And you don’t regret kissing me? Are you still worried I’m not ready?” she asked. “Let’s not forget, you rejected me only yesterday.”
He shook his head, still smiling. “No regrets.” His expression softened into seriousness. “The timing isn’t ideal, but knowing what I know now… I don’t think you’re trying to escape from your pain with me. Because we’re meant to be.” His smile returned. “Also, finding out about your vibrator has eased my previous concerns. You seem ready.”
All the half-baked points she’d been trying to construct to poke holes in the North Star concept floated out of her mind. She reached up, touching the stubble on his cheek. His gaze was open, full of want, as he searched her face.
Done with words, Scarlett softly pressed her lips to his. He responded eagerly, deepening the kiss with his tongue on hers. His fingers found their way into her hair. She pressed herself asclosely to him as she could, and the thick length of him hardened beneath her. Their first kiss had been perfect, but now that she was unburdened, this one was even better. She’d thrown every doubt she had at him, and nothing had fazed him.
As she lost herself in Brayden, she moved against him, seeking friction, until the sound of her own moan startled her enough to make her pull away. His cheeks were flushed, eyes bright. He was so sexy and adorable at the same time.
Nerves fluttered in Scarlett’s stomach. She felt so out of control. He was saying all the right things, and she trusted him, but it was so overwhelming.
She gave him a sweet but brief kiss. “I… I need time to process all this.”
“Totally get it. You’re all right though?”
“I’m still worried, but I’m also happy for the first time in a long time.” Her lips curved up into a huge smile.
“Good.” He swung his legs off the couch and stood with Scarlett still on his lap. Her legs straightened, and he set her down gently onto the ground. Her arms fell from his shoulders and threaded around his waist.
She needed to leave, but she didn’t want to. The old feeling of wondering what he’d get up to after they said good night crept into her stomach and made it twist. “I don’t want you to think I don’t want you. I do.”
