Remembering the promise she’d made herself back at the match, Scarlett steeled herself. “You dragged me to that match even though you knew I didn’t want to go, and we werethisclose to getting arrested. I want to be alone tonight.”
“You could’ve chosen not to go,” he protested.
Cass moved toward the street and put her back to them.
“You’re right. I could have, but you kept hounding me. You pressured me.” Scarlett was angry at him and at herself, because he was right. For three years she’d swallowed every negative thing she’d felt to make sure he was happy. And she shouldn’t have done that.
He came closer, his expression softening, but he couldn’t bring her back to him with a pleading look this time. “I thought it would be good for us. Things haven’t been the same since you decided not to move in with me…” His expression was pinched as he reached for her.
Scarlett pulled away. “Yes, that’s another thing you kept insisting on even though you knew I was thinking about going abroad. By the way, I’m not thinking about it anymore. I’m doing it, and I’m going to tell my dad tomorrow.”
He closed his eyes for a long moment. “If you go, where does that leave us?”
She was so tired of him that her next words came easier than expected. “I think time apart will be good for us.”
“Are you asking for a break?” His voice caught as a pain she’d never seen entered his gaze.
Thatwaswhat she’d meant. She’d only wanted to express how mad she was at him, but suddenly, it wasn’t enough. Alastair only loved her when she was playing the role he expected her to play. A role she no longer wanted. Now that she was tearing her life apart, she burned with the desire to level it to the ground and begin anew.
Scarlett swallowed and forced herself to tell the truth. “No, I don’t want a break. I think we’re done.”
His hands fell away; his expression hardened. “Three years together, and you don’t even want totrydoing long-distance? Or going abroad together? I don’twantto go, but I’d do it for you. Do all our years together mean nothing to you?”
“Of course they mean something to me. I’ve loved you all the years we’ve been together, but that doesn’t mean we’re meant to be together forever.” She willed him to understand.
He scowled at her. “Beyond loving me, we’re forever linked. I took your virginity.”
“Wow…” Cass muttered from a few steps away.
How could he say something so outrageous, let alone in front of someone else? Scarlett rolled her eyes at Alastair’s old-fashioned views.
He ignored her and went on in a lowered voice. “You’ve practically been living with me. I’ve beeninsideyou hundreds of times. Do you think I’d have done any of that if I didn’t believe we’d marry one day?”
And not one of those hundreds of times did you give me an orgasm. Twenty-two and I’ve never had a single goddamn orgasm.She wanted to shout the words at him, but it was far too late to talk about that. He had no idea she never had. It also wasn’t fair to fault him for something she’d never told the truth about. But as he stood there trying to make a sexual claim onher, she was tempted to throw it in his face anyway.
Scarlett glared at him. “We never spoke about marriage. It’s not my fault if you made assumptions.”
His expression shifted from hard to vacant. “What did I do to make you stop loving me?”
Her brief spike of anger faded, replaced by wavering heartache. Shehadslept in his bed so many nights for years. They’d been each other’s worlds for so long. She still remembered when he’d asked her out on their first day at university. Scarlett had been nervous, hoping to make friends, and he’d stepped in and filled her life with inside jokes, study dates, nights out in dazzling places, and quiet nights in snuggled up in his bed. He’d done a good job of making her happy.
Whendidshe stop loving him?
The truth was, she had a growing sense of disgust at how Alastair carried his privilege. Comments he made here and there that made her think their values were far from aligned. She wasn’t sure if he’d always been that way and she’d been unwilling to see it or if he’d changed. But what was one more lie? One last lie to keep him from being unhappier than he already was.
“You didn’t do anything. I don’t know why it changed for me.”
His gaze darted to hers before he looked up at the sky. “Is there someone else?” His voice sounded thick.
She grabbed his hand. “Of course not.” It wasn’t a lie, although for months her fantasies had featured a man with thick, dark hair and warm brown eyes…
“Scarlett, you’remine.” He squeezed her hand so tight it hurt. “I bought a bloody engagement ring for you. I’d have proposed by now if you weren’t acting like such a selfish shrew. You’resupposedto marry me. We’d make the greatest political dynasty Soleil has ever seen. With you by my side, I could be prime minister after your father—our children would inherittwoseatsin Parliament.” His voice was raised, and his handsome face twisted. “You’llneverfind this good of a match again. Do you understand that?”
Shock became fire as his arrogance erased Scarlett’s guilt. Heat flooded through her body. He’d never sounded more entitled. Was this how he loved? It felt like the veil over her eyes had lifted, and without the sickness of her own love for him distorting her view, she didn’t recognize him anymore.
Cass turned around then, but Scarlett waved to let her know no intervention was necessary.
“I’m now one hundred percent certain I don’t want to be with you, so thanks for that. Doyouunderstandthat? Fuck off, Alastair.”
