Pull it together. You can fall apart at home.
He splashed cold water on his face, dried it with a hand towel that smelled like Ash. His hands still shook but less violently. He didn’t need this. He didn’t need Ash or movie night or falling asleep together. Ash probably brought guys over all the time, probably had a rotation of perfectly normal men who didn’t freak out over a simple touch. Not basket cases with ugly backs and even uglier baggage.
When he opened the door, Ash was standing in the hallway. He wasn’t crowding, just waiting, hands loose at his sides.
“I’m heading home,” Danny said. The words came out flat, mechanical.
“It’s two in the morning.”
“So? What’s your point?” Danny pushed past him, heading for the living room where he’d left his keys. “Thanks for dinner and the movie. Sorry I fell asleep during it.”
“Danny—”
“Don’t.” Danny spun around, and suddenly all that trapped emotion had somewhere to go. “Don’t act like you know me or what I need. You don’t know anything about me.”
Ash’s expression didn’t change, still that infuriating calm. “You’re right. I don’t. But I’d like to.”
“Why?” The word cracked down the middle. “Why would you want to?”
“If you really want to leave, I’ll drive you home.” Ash’s voice stayed even, reasonable. “Your call.”
Danny’s keys bit into his palm in his clenched fist. Leave. Stay. Run. Fight. Every instinct pulled him in different directions until he couldn’t tell which way was up.
“I don’t—I can’t—” The words wouldn’t form properly. Everything felt too big, too much, pressing down until he couldn’t breathe.
Then Ash’s arms were around him. Not trapping, not forcing, just there. Solid and warm and inexplicably safe. Danny should’ve pulled away. Should have run.
Instead, he let himself be held while his body shook and his breathing hitched and everything he’d kept locked down for a year threatened to spill over.
When Danny finally settled down, Ash led him back to the couch, and Danny didn’t argue. He simply lay down, curled into Ash, and allowed himself to fall back to sleep.
* * * *
The following afternoon, Danny stood frozen outside Frothy Pine. Up close, it looked massive, darker inside, more intimidating than it had when he’d walked by it on any other day. Was he really doing this? Why?
He wasn’t social. He didn’t even drink. And yet…Ash had filled his every thought since leaving the guy’s place early this morning.
Exhaling a shaky breath, Danny shook out his arms, tilting his head side to side like he was gearing up for a boss fight.
“Just open the door and walk in,” he muttered. “You can do this. Door handle. Grab it. Feet. Move them.”
Even from where he stood, he could feel the bass of the music pounding through him. The smell of onion rings filled his nostrils.
A few guys wearing leather walked out, music thumping louder before the wooden door closed shut behind them.
“Nope.” Danny spun around and started away, only to turn back around, jaw clenched. “You’re gonna do this, damn it.”
Just walk inside. What’s the worst that can happen?
He bit his lip. What if he embarrassed himself in front of the whole town? What if they all saw how small and lost he really was? He pictured himself tripping over the threshold, stammering in front of everyone, shredding his self-esteem. His chest tightened.
Should’ve dragged Isaac along. With Isaac, he could fake courage. It was easier to face strangers when you had your best friend at your side. Especially when he knew Isaac would wild out if anyone even looked wrong at Danny.
Okay, so maybe leaving his best friend out of this was smart thinking. Danny didn’t need the pint-size drama queen starting a bar brawl.
Yet.
“I have to do this myself,” he whispered. He needed to heal. To let go of the pain he’d carried for so long. Last night, he’d almost managed it. He’d laughed. He’d felt…safe.
